Causes and Treatment of Children’s Waywardness

There are many factors and reasons that lead to the perversion of young children, the corruption of their manners and the spoiling of their conduct! We are surrounded by evil motivations and inducements to corruption. Unless educators are cabable of meeting the responsibility and are aware of the reasons and motives of corruption, and are wise in seeking the means of treatment and ways of prevention, the children will go astray and face misery.

In this chapter we shall deal in detail with the reasons behind childern’s perversion, and the means of treating this problem in order to be aware and well guided, in educating our children and shouldering our responsibilities towards them.

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Poverty that overwhelms some homes

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It is evident that when the child lacks sufficient food and clothing, and faces poverty and deprivation, he will resort to leaving his place to look for provision. There, evil hands and corrupt companions will get their hands on him and lead him to grow up as a corrupt person.

Islam laid down the foundations of fighting poverty and putting an end to it, and declared everyone’s right to lead an honourable life, completely eradicating all symptoms of poverty, misery, and deprivation.

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Widespread unemployment in the society

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The family whose father who has a wife and children, but is unable to find a job to earn his living and provide for his family will be prone to homelessness and poverty. The children will be dragged into perversion and corruption. Moreover, the father and his family members may consider getting money through illegal means, and gaining it by unlawful ways.

Islam has treated unemployment, whether it is imposed or out of laziness. It has treated unemployment where a person has no way whatsoever of finding a job, while he is willing and able, by two things: a- The State should secure a job for him, b. The society has to support him until he gets a job.

The treatment for unemployment resulting from laziness, even though work is available and the person is able, is to be through the State i.e. the State must observe him, and admonish him if he abandons work. In case he insists on not working, it compels and obliges him to work. In case unemployment is a result of senility or illness, the State must look after those unemployed people, and secure for them an honourable life, whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims.

 

Parents forsaking their responsibility towards their children

 

Among the great factors that lead to children’s perversion is when the parents forsake the reformation of their children, and neglect their guidance and rearing. We should not ignore the mother’s role in bearing this burden. She is, in this respect, equal to the father. Besides, her responsibility is more important and more serious on the grounds that she is much closer to her child since he was born and until he grows up and becomes mature. The Prophet(ﷺ) has assigned such a responsiblity to the mother, when he said: “And a woman is the guardian of her husband’s home, and is responsible for her subjects.” If the mother and father fail to shoulder the responsibility of educating their children, they, undoubtedly, will grow up as if they were orphans, and live like vagabonds. How truthful the poet was when he said:

                             “An orphan is not that who was left behind,

                             humbled and humiliated by his parents.

                            The orphan is that who has a forsaking

                             mother and a preoccupied father.”

Matters get even worse when parents indulge most of their time in sins and corruption, and get deeply involved in lusts and sensual pleasures living a life of looseness and libertinism. No doubt that the children’s perversion, in such a case, will be more serious. May Allah show mercy to the poet who said,

“The plant that grows in the green field is not like that which grows in the desert, How come we hope for perfection for children.

Who were fed by the breasts of imperfect (mothers)? Islam holds both father and mother highly responsible for educating their children, and threatened them with a great punishment if they failed to shoulder this responsibility. Alläh says,

 

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ قُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًۭا وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَـٰٓئِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌۭ شِدَادٌۭ لَّا يَعْصُونَ ٱللَّهَ مَآ أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ

 

“O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded.

(At-Tahrim, 6)

 

Al-Bukhari and Muslim related that the Prophet (ﷺ)said, “A man is guardian of his family (household) and is responsible for his subjects and a woman is guardian of her husband’s home, and is responsible for her subjects.”

 

REFERENCE:

Book: Child Education In Islam

“BY Abdullah Nasih ‘Ulwan”