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09. Walidain ki ladai aur jhagda [Conflict and discord between Parents]

*Waalidain Ka Ladaai Aur Jhagda*

Bachon kay bigaad ka aik aham sabab ghar mein waalidain ki ladaai aur jhagda hai, jab bachay maan baap ko baat baat par ladtay jhagadtay aur maan ko baap kay haathon pit’tay deikhtay hain to in kay dilon mein maan kay liye muhabbat aur baap kay liye nafrat kay jazbaat aur a’waatif peda hotay hain, aur phir ghar chod kar kahin bhaag jaanay ko tarjeeh detay hain, ya maan aur baap mein say kissi aik ki himaayat ya mukhaalifat pat amaada ho jaatay hain, jis ka natijah olaad aur waalidain donon kay haq mein bura nikalta hai.

Islaam nay ghar kay maahol ko pursakoon aur khushgawaar rakhnay ki zimadaari miyan aur biwi donon par aa’id ki hai,aurat ko ye hukam diya keh wo apnay shohar ko khush rakhay aur Rab ki jannat ki mustahiq ho jaaye.

 

Irshaad-e-Nabawi (ﷺ) hai:

 

” المرأة إذا صلت خمسها ، وصامت شهرها ، وأطاعت بعلها ، وأحصنت فرجها ، قيل لها يوم القيامة: ” أدخلى الجنة من أى أبوابها الثمانية شئت ،، ( ترندی )

 

“Aurat jab panj waqtah namaaz padhay, ramzaan kay rozay rakhay, apnay shohar ki itaa’at karay, aur apni i’smat ki hifaazat karay, to is say qayaamat kay din kaha jaaye ga keh wo jannat kay aathon(8) darwaazon mein say jis say chaahay jannat mein daakhil ho jaaye. aik aur riwaayat mein shohar ki jinsi khwaahish ka ehtraam na karne ko fairshton ki la’anat ka mojab qaraar diya, is liye ke aksar masaail issi inkaar ke sabab paish atay hain.

Aap (ﷺ) ka irshaad hai :

 

: ” إذا دعا رجل إمرأته إلى فراشه، فأبت أن تجيء إليه، فبات غضبان عليها ، تلعنها الملائكة حتى تصبح ،، ( متفق عليه )

 

” Jab koi shakhs apni biwi ko hum bistari ke liye bulaaye, aur is ne anay se inkaar kar diya, aur is ne naaraazi ki haalat mein raat guzaari, to subah honay tak Allah ke farishtay is aurat par laanat bhaijtay rehtay hain”.

 

Kuch aurtain zamaan-e-Nabwi mein jam’a huien aur unhon ne tay kiya ke hum mein se aik aurat ko Rasool Ullah (ﷺ) ki khidmat-e- Aqdes mein rawaana kiya jaaye, un mein se aik aik Aap (ﷺ) ki khidmat mein haazir hui aur kehnay lagi :

Ya Rasool Ullah ! Mein aurton ki jaanib se qaasid ban kar Aap ke paas yeh kehnay ke liye aayi hon keh : ” Jihaad ko Allah Ta’ala ne mardon par farz kiya hai, agar woh is se kamyaab lottay hain to ajar-o-sawaab paatey hain, agar shaheed ho jaatay hain to apney Rab ke paas zindagi paate hain, jahaan inhein rozi di jaati hai. ( Yeh mardon ka rutbah hai ) lekin hum aurtain ka haal yeh hai ke hum bas un ki nigahdaasht karti hain, hamein is par kya sawaab miley ga?.

 

Aap (ﷺ) ne jawaab mein irshaad farmaaya :

 

: ” أبلغى من لقيت من النساء أن طاعة للزوج ، وإعترافا بحقه ، يعدل ذلك ، وقليل منكن من يفعله ،، ( رواه البزار

 

“Tum se mulaqaat karne waali aurton se ja kar keh dena ke shohar ki khidmat-o-ataa’t karna aur is ke haqooq ki ria’ayat aur a’itraaf karna ( ajar mein ) mardon ke

Baraabar hoga, lekin tum mein kam aisi aurtain hongi.

Saath hi mard ko yeh hukum diya gaya ke wo apni biwi ke saath acha salook keray.

 

Farmaan-e-Nabwi hai :

“إتقوا الله فى النساء ، فإنكم أخذتموهن بأمانة الله ، واستحللتم فروجهن بكلمة الله ، ولهن عليكم رزقهن وكسوتهن بالمعروف ،، (مسلم)

“Aurton ke muta’lliq Allah Ta’ala say daro, is liye ke tum ne inhain Allah ki amaanat samajhte hue apni zojiyat mein liya hai, aur un ki a’smton ko Allah ke kalma say apney liye halaal kiya hai, tum par inka haq yeh hai ke tum inhein bhallay tareeqay par khuraak aur libaas muhayya karo biwi ki kissi naapasandeedah a’adat par shohar ko yeh kehte hue sabar karney ki Talqeen ki gayi keh wo apni biwi ki khoobiyon aur khaamiyon ka mawaazna kerey, is ki taraf sirf naraazgi aur karaahat ki nazar se hi na dekhey :

 

: ” لا يفرك مؤمن مؤمنة ، إن كره منها خلقا رضى منها آخر ،، ( مسلم )

 

“Koi momin mard kisi Momina aurat ( apni biwi ) se bughz na rakhay, is liye ke agar usay is ki koi aa’dat na pasand hai to koi doosri pasand bhi aaye gi”.

 

Un ko behtareen mard qaraar diya gaya jo apni biwion ke liye sab se achay hon :

 

خيركم خيركم لأهله ، وأنا خير لأهلى ، ( ابن ماجہ ۔ حاکم )

 

“Tum mein sab se behtar shakhs woh hai jo apne ahal-wa-a’yaal ke liye behtar ho aur mein apney ghar waalon ke liye behtar hun” .

 

Aik aur hadees mein shohar ko takeed ki gayi hai ke biwi se jo kuch muyassar aaye ley ley ,kyunkay wo kaamil wajah par nahi peda ki gayi hai, balkay is mein tedha pan hona laazmi hai aur Aadmi issi tabiyat par is se faida utha sakta hai jis par wo peda ki gayi hai.

 

Farmaan-e-Nabwi(ﷺ) hai:

 

” استوصوا بالنساء خيرا ، فإنهن خلقن من ضلع ، وإن أعوج شيء في الضلع أعلاه، فإن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته ، وإن تركته لم يزل أعوج ، فاستوصوا بالنساء خيرا ،، ( بخاری ومسلم )

 

“Aurton se behtar salook karo kyunkay aurat pasli se peda ki gayi hai aur kissi terhan tumahray liye seedhi na hogi aur pasli ka sab se tedha hissa wo hai jo is ka buland hissa hai, agar tum usay bilkul seedha karna chaaho gai to usay toad do gai aur agar chode do gai to tedhi hi rahay gi, lehaaza aurton se acha salook karo”.

Aurton mein shohar ko kuch na kuch kehtey rehney ki fitri aadat rehti hai, is se tang aakar aik martaba Hazrat Abdulullah Bin Masood (رضي الله عنه) apni biwi ki shikaayat ley kar Hazrat Umar Bin Khataab (رضي الله عنه) ki khidmat mein puhanche, ja kar dekha to un ke ghar ka maa’mla bhi apney ghar se kuch allag nahi tha, Ameer-ul-Momineen ki biwi bhi inhen kuch kadvi kasaili suna rahi thin, ultay qadam waapas aaye, Hazrat Umar (رضي الله عنه) ne inhein talab kiya aur aakar wapas chalay janey ki wajah poochi to farmaya :

” Jis aftaad ki shikaayat ley kar aap ki khidmat mein pohncha tha issi museebat se aap bhi do chaar thay to waapas chala gaya”.

 

Hazrat Umar bin Khataab (رضي الله عنه) ne farmaaya :

” Ibn Maso’od! mein aap ko Qureish ka aqalmand aadmi samajh raha tha, aaj pata chala ke tum aisay nahi ho, dekho! Allah Ta’ala ney biwi honay ke naatey aurat par jo fareeza ai’ed kiya hai wo yeh ke jab shohar usay apney bistar ki taraf bulaaye to wo chali aaye lekin is se agay badh kar wo hamaaray ghar ki hifazat karti hai , Bachon ki parwarish karti hai, hamaaray jaanwaron ki khidmat karti hai, hamaaray ghar ki safaai karti hai, hamaaray liye khaana pakaati hai waghaira, jab biwi key itnay saaray ehsaanaat hum par hon, agar wo kabhi hum par garjti barasti ho to Barasnay do, is se farq kya padta hai?.

Aap (ﷺ) apni bazurgi aur azmat ke baawajood biwiyon ke saath nihaayat hi Khushgawaar tor par zindagi basar farmaatay, hansi mazaaq, khail kood mein biwiyon ko shareek farmaatay. Umm-ul-Momineen Hazrat Ayisha Sadiqah (رضی اللہ عنہا) farmaati hain :

” Aik martaba main safar mein Aap ke hamraah thi, Aap ne qaafla waalon ko agay bhednay ka hukam diya, jab qaafla agay badh gaya to farmaaya : ” Chaalo hum aur tum daud lagaatay hain” main halki phulki thi, daud mein Aap ko peechay chode diya, phir chand saloon baad jab mera wazan kuch badh gaya, to douran-e-safar Aap (ﷺ) ne kaarvaan ko agay bhedne ka hukam diya, phir mujh se farmaaya : ” Chalo daud lagatay hain” ab ki baar Aap (ﷺ) mujh say agay badh gaye aur farmaaya :

” هذه بتلک”

Main ne pichla hisaab chuka diya. ( Abbu Dawod- Nisaaye )

 

 

Biwion ki haqooq mein say ye bhi hai keh shohar un say un ki bachiyon ki shaadi kay silsilay mein mahswara lay. Aap (ﷺ) ne hukam diya :

 

“آمروا النساء في بناتهن” ( أحمد – أبوداؤد )

 

“Aurton say un ki bachiyon kay muta’lliq un ki marzi daryaaft karo”. Yani bachiyon ki kissi kay saath mangani karnay say pehlay un say ijaazat lo.

 

Hazrat Umar Bin Khataab (رضي الله عنه) jaisay qaanoon aur insaaf kay mua’amlay mein sakhat taba hukmaraan bhi ghar mein apnay ahal-o- a’yaal kay saath bilkul hum aahang ho jaatay. Khud

Farmaatay hain :

 

ينبغى للرجل أن يكون في أهله كالصبي ، فإذا كان في القوم كان رجلا،، ( تربية الأولاد فی الا سلام : 93)

 

“Admi ko apnay ghar mein mohabbat aur narmi mein bachay ki tarhan hona chaahiye, jab logon mein ho to mard ban kar rahay”.

Aap (ﷺ) apnay ghar mein aik a’am insaan ki tarhan zindagi basar kartay, Hazrat Ayesha (رضی اللہ عنہا) farmaati hain:

Aap (ﷺ) ghar mein wo tamaam kaam kartay jo tum mein say aik a’am admi karta hai, koi cheez aik jagah say uthaatay aur doosri jagah par rakhtay, ghar kay umoor mein apni biwiyon ki madad farmaatay, kapday sil detay, gosht kaat kar detay, ghar mein jhaado detay, aur khaadim kay kaamon mein is ka haath btaatay. (Tibraani)

Ye wo mabni bar insaaf haqooq hain jinhain islaam nay miyyan biwi dono par a’ied kiye hain, haqeeqat ye hai keh jis mua’ashray mein un haqooq par kama haqqah a’mal ho to is mein koi shubah nahi keh wo mua’ashra insaaniyat ka sab say zayaada Sa’adat mand, Khushgawaar mohabbat bhara aur hansta-o-kheiltaa mua’ashra hoga. Is mua’shray mein dushmani, nafrat, haqaarat biwi par zulm-o-zayaadati, gaali galoch, ilzaamaat aur tohmaton, talaaq aur khula jaisi makrooh cheezon ko hargiz hargiz koi jagah nahi milay gi.

 

REFERENCE:
Book: Aulaad ki islami Tarbiyat
Taaleef: “Muhammad Anwar Muhammad Qasim Al Salfi”

Conflict and discord between Parents

 

When the child sees clashes between his parents, he will abandon this depressing atmosphere and look for friends with whom he can spend most of his time. If those friends are a bad influence, he will get used to this dangerous and perverted lifestyle.

As preventive measure, Islam laid down, to the suitor, the right means of choosing his future wife and showed the girl’s family the best way of choosing her would-be-husband for the sake of attaining intimacy and love between the spouses. In doing so, they protect themselves against family problems and marital discord.

 

REFERENCE:
Book: Child Education In Islam
BY Abdullah Nasih ‘Ulwan”
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