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21. KAMIYAAB SHAADI KAY AWSAAF AUR USOOL [The Principles for a Successful Marriage]

Kaamiyaab shaadi kay awsaaf wa usool

 

1. Al-iltezaam – Huqooq wa waajibaat ka miyan biwi dono ko ehsaas rahe.

2. Al-ehteraam – Aapas may aik doosre ka ehteraam karna chahiye.

3. Tawheed Risaalat Aakhirat:

 

  • Allaah hi ki ibaadat aur Rasool ki itaat.
  • Ghar may sirf Allaah aur Rasool ki chalegi, na shauhar ki na biwi ki. Tawheed ka aik taqazah hai “muraaqabah” yane Allaah dekh raha hai jab yeh tasawwur taaza rahega to khud ba khud sharaarat, saazish aur aik doosre ko sataane ka zahen khatam hokar sanjeedah ho jaayega, namoona to Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم jaise misaali shauhar aur Ummahaat-ul-momineen jaise kaamiyaab azwaaj-e-mutahharaat aur aakhirat ki pooch ka dar ‘famaiy ya’mal misqaal zarratin kairan yarah wamanyyamal misqal zarratin sharrayyarah, maaliki yaumiddeen ka ehsaas, insaan ko zimmedaar banata hai aur zindagi sahal ho jaayegi. In Shaa Allaah

 

4. Tasaamoh – Ek doosre kay liye aasaani, narmi aur darguzar ka muamala.

5. Mata e ghuroor say bachna, hamesha haqeeqat ki duniya kay hisaab say sochna aur tasawwuraati duniya say bachna, aksar tasawwuraati duniya dhoka deti hai, yeh duniya dhoke ki jagah hai, yahan har cheez milna mushkil hai, woh sirf Jannat hi hai jahan har cheez bila had wa hisaab milti hai yeh duniya mataa al ghuroor hai.

Haqeeqi duniya ke wasaayel may tawakkul, taqwa, sidq, amaanat, paak wa khush lehja, qana’at, sabr, tahammul, tasaamoh, muqaasamat (jhagda) say doori, mawwadat, ulfat, rahmat wa shafaqqat, adal wa ehsaan, fahash wa munkaraat say bachna, ta’awun alal birr, adam ta’awun alal ism.

6. Tawaasul saadiq ma’a istemraar, baat cheet har haal may jaari rakho, har mashware may aik doosre ko shareek rakho, aik doosre ko apna mu’aawin, rafeeq aur madadgaar samjho, Jannat haasil karne kay liye aik doosre ki madad karo, naaraazgi mein baat cheet band kar lena aik doosre say be parwaah ho jaana, anaaniyat, ghuroor, ghamand, qiyaanat, zulm, jhoot, bohtaan, shak wa shubah, jaasoosi, aik doosre ka khayaal naa rakhna, rishtedaaron kay saath bad sulooki, izdiwaji zindagi kay liye yeh sab cheezein zahar qaatil hai.

7. Apna naa sochiya bacchon ka sochiye, aap kay jhagde say un par kitna bura asar padta hai, ummat aur insaaniyat ka sochiye, aap ki salaahiyat kin acche kaamon mein lagti hai aur kin bekaar jhagdon me life guzar rahi hai.

Ek bade vision, maqsad-e-hayaat, insaaniyat kay liye dard lekar jeena Islaam ki nashr wa ishaat, maqsade zindagi ka qiyaam uboodiyat.

Agar aadmi maqsadi zindagi guzaarega to mamooli tanazu’aat khud ba khud khatam ho jaayenge. Ghar may taleem, tadabbur, tafkkur, tazkeer-e-Quraan aur fahem-e-hadees wa shariat ka maahaul banaye. Ilm, amal, dawat wa islaah aur sabr ka maahaul banaye.

8. Maahireen-e-nafsiyaat aur samaaji maahireen paanch nukte aksar batate hain:
  • Usool may narmi aur samjhota, sakht lehja aur sakhti say huqooq kay mutaalabe say bachein. Muskuraahat say hal karein shiddat kay haalaat ko. Muskuraahat gusse ki aag ko bujha deti hai.
  • Rozana ki tarteeb say hat kar kuch khush gawaari ka maahaul qaaim karlein, halaal tareeqe say jadeed andaaz apnayein.
  • Tawaasul – Taluqaat na tode.
  • Al-ehteraam al-mutabaadil (har aik doosre ko ehteraam day).
  • As-siqah (hamara aik doosre par mukammal etemaad, poora bharosa, humari izdiwaji zindagi ko dawaam bakhashta hai aur shukook wa shuhbaat uska gala ghont dete hain.

 

 

REFERNCE:
BOOK: “NIKAH SE MUTALIQ AHEM MALOOMAT”
BY: SHEIKH ARSHAD BASHEER UMARI MADANI

The Principles for a Successful Marriage

 

1. Having sense of responsibility.

2. Honouring each other.

3. Monotheism, Prophethood and the Day of Judgment.

  • We have to only worship Allaah and obey his messenger (PBUH)
  • The home will be governed according the Shariah neither by the will of the husband nor of the wife.
  • One of the requisites of Tawheed is Muraqabah. It is belief by a slave of Allaah that Allaah, The Exalted, is ever watchful of his actions. This belief will extinguish the evil, harmful and conspiring nature of an individual. Thereby making him serious in all of his affairs. For example, The Messenger of Allaah (PBUH) and his wives are an inspiration for all of us.
  • The verse “So whosoever does good equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant), shall see it; And whosoever does evil equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant), shall see it” [99: 7-8] reminds us that all of us will be held accountable on the Day of Judgment.
  • The verse “The Only Owner (and the Only Ruling Judge) of the Day of Recompense (i.e. the Day of Resurrection)” makes us feel of our responsibility and results is easing all of our affairs.

          In Sha Allaah.

 

4. Tolerance.

5. Beware about maata ul shouldمتاع الغرور ghuroor not be deluded by the world; we must think of the world by being aware of its reality and we should not wander in an imaginary world. This world often deceits as it is an illusion. We cannot acquire everything in this world as it is only possible in Jannah; it is only Jannah where we can everything without limit. This world is a substance of deceit. The means of this real world are:

Reliance, Consciousness, Honesty, Trust, Pure and Delightful Nature, Contentment, Patience, Forbearance, Leniency, Refraining from disputes, Tenderness, Fondness, Mercy and Compassion, Justice and Excellence, Abstaining from immodesty and evils, Helping one another in Al-Birr and At-Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety) but not helping one another in sin and transgression.

6. We should maintain conversations in all the circumstances, We should include them in all of our counsels, being constantly mindful that others are helpful, supporting, and friends to us. We should help each other in order to attain Jannah, forsaking talking to each other in a state of displeasure, being unconcerned about each other in a state of displeasure, conceit, arrogance, pomposity, betrays trust, oppression, lying, slandering, doubts and uncertainties, suspicions, not taking care of each other, ill behaviour towards relatives, all these traits are venomous for a marital life.

7. We should be concerned of the child’s future during marital discord. One should think that our disputes can affect our children. We should think of the Ummah and humanity. Where are our calibre exhausted and why all of our skills are being exerted in quarrels?

A Huge Vision, The Purpose of Life, to live for the of humanity on the verge of experiencing pain, to propagate Islam, The purpose of life is to establish slave hood.

When a man lives his life by making the above purposes as aims of his life; then minute disputes will be automatically solved.

We should create an environment of education, contemplation, ponder, remembrance through Quraan, comprehension of the hadith and Shariah, knowledge, action, invitation, rectification and patience in our homes.

 

8. 5 principles of well-being laid by psychiatrists:

 

  • One must avoid harshness, anger, rudeness etc. and adopt qualities like gentleness, cheerfulness etc. in all of his affairs.
  • One must alter his daily routine in a halal manner in order to create a delightful environment in his home.
  • One must not cut off his relations.
  • Mutual honour and respect.
  • Mutual trust.

 

 

REFERENCE:
BOOK: “CRUCIAL INFORMATION RELATED TO NIKAH”
BY: SHEIKH ARSHAD BASHEER UMARI MADANI
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