28. RISHTON MEIN MOHABBAT KAISE PAIDA KARE [ ARBAEEN-E-USARIYYAH]
Rishton mein muhhabbat kaise paida karein?
1. Aik doosre ko salaam karein.
(Muslim: 54)
2. Unse mulaaqaat karne jaayein.
(Muslim: 2567)
3. Unke paas baithne uthne ka maamool banalein.
(Surah Luqman: 15)
4. Unse baat cheet karein.
(Muslim: 2560)
5. Unke saath lutf wa meherbaani say pesh aayein.
(Sunan Tirmizi: 1924, Sahih)
6. Aik doosre ko hadiyah wa tohfa diya karein.
(Sahih al- Jaami: 3004)
7. Agar woh dawat dein to qabool karein.
(Muslim: 2162)
8. Agar woh mehmaan bankar aayein to unki ziyaafat karein.
(Tirmizi: 2485, Sahih)
9. Unhe apni duaaon may yaad rakhein.
(Muslim: 2733)
10. Bade hon to unki izzat karein.
(Sunan Abu Dawood: 4943, Sunan Tirmizi: 1920, Sahih)
11. Chote hon to unpar shafaqqat karein.
(Sunan Abu Dawood: 4943, Sunan Tirmizi: 1920, Sahih)
12. Unki khushi wa gham may shareek hon.
(Sahih Bukhari: 6951)
13. Agar unko kisi baat may i’aanat darkaar ho to uss kaam may unki madad karein.
(Sahih Bukhari: 6951)
14. Aik doosre kay liye khair khwaah banein.
(Sahih Muslim: 55)
15. Agar woh naseehat talab karein to unhe naseehat karein.
(Sahih Muslim: 2162)
16. Aik doosre say mashwarah karein.
(Surah Aal-e- Imran: 159)
17. Aik doosre ki gheebat naa karein.
(Surah Hujuraat: 12)
18. Aik doosre ka taan naa karein.
(Surah Humazah: 1)
19. Peet peeche buraiyan naa karein.
(Surah Humazah: 1)
20. Chugli naa karein.
(Sahih Muslim: 105)
21. Bure naam naa nikaalein.
(Surah Hujuraat: 11)
22. Aib naa lagaein.
(Sunan Abu Dawood: 4875, Sahih)
23. Aik doosre ki takleefon ko door karein.
(Sunan Abu Dawood: 4946, Sahih)
24. Aik doosre par raham khayein.
(Sunan Tirmizi: 1924, Sahih)
25. Doosron ko takleef dekar maze naa uthaayein.
(Surah Mutaffifeen say sabaq)
26. Naa jaaiz musaabaqat naa karein. Musaabaqat karke kisi ko giraana buri aadat hai.
(Sahih Muslim: 2963)
27. Nekiyon mein sabqat aur tanaafus jaaiz hai jabke uski aad mein takabbur, riyaakaari aur tahqeer kaar farma na ho.
(Surah Mutaffifeen: 26)
28. Tamaa, laalach aur hirs say bachein.
(Surah Takaasur: 1)
29. Eesaar wa qurbaani ka jazba rakhein.
(Surah Al Hashar: 9)
30. Apne say zyadah aage wale ka khayaal rakhein.
(Surah Al Hashar: 9)
31. Mazaaq mein bhi kisi ko takleef naa dein.
(Surah Al Hujuraat: 11)
32. Nafa bakhsh banne ki koshish karein.
(Sahih al- Jaami: 3289, Hasan)
33. Ehteraam say baat karein. Baat karte waqt saqt lehje say bachein.
(Surah Aal-e-Imran: 159)
34. Ghaaebana accha zikr karein.
(Tirmizi: 2737, Sahih)
35. Gussa ko control may rakhein.
(Sahih Bukhari: 6116)
36. Inteqaam lene ki aadat say bachein.
(Sahih Bukhari: 6853)
37. Kisi ko haqeer naa samjhein.
(Sahih Muslim: 91)
38. Allaah kay baad aik doosre ka bhi shukr ada karein.
(Sunan Abu Dawood: 4811, Sahih)
39. Agar beemar hon to iyaadat ko jaayein.
(Tirmizi: 969, Sahih)
40. Agar kisi ka inteqaal ho jaaye to janaze may shirkat karein.
(Muslim: 2162)
- Phool uthaane par mahek aur ghalaazat uthaane par badboo aati hai, acchi aur buri majlisaun ki misaal aisi hi hai.
- Allaah humein rishte khair say nibhane ki tawfeeq ataa farmaye.
Note:
- Shaadi say pehle ya dauraan ya baad mahfilon ka silsilah jaari rahta hai lehaaza mahfilon mein Allaah ka zikr aur darood padhne ka maahaul banayein (infiraadi taur par).
- Aur tohmat, gheebat, mazaaq udhaane aur laghu bataon say perhaiz karien.
- Aur ekhtetaam majlis par yeh duaa padhein take majlis ka kaffaarah hojaye:
KAFFARATUL MAJLEES:
سُبْحـانَكَ اللّهُـمَّ وَبِحَمدِك، أَشْهَـدُ أَنْ لا إِلهَ إِلاّ أَنْتَ أَسْتَغْفِرُكَ وَأَتوبُ إِلَـيْك
Subhānaka Allāhumma wa biḥamdik, ash-hadu an lā ilāha illā ant, astaghfiruka wa atību ilayk
Tarjamah: “Aye Allaah! Tu paak hai, aur tu apni saari taareefon kay saath hai, nahi hai mabood bar haq magar tu hi aur mai tujhi say maghfirat talab karta hun aur teri hi taraf rujoo karta hun.”
(Tirmizi: 3433)
REFERENCE:
BOOK: “CRUCIAL INFORMATION RELATED TO NIKAH”
BY: SHEIKH ARSHAD BASHEER UMARI MADANI
Arba’in –E- Usra
How can we Create Love in the Relationship?
1. By greeting one another.
(Sahih Muslim: 54)
2. By visiting one another.
(Sahih Muslim: 2567)
3. By spending quality time with them.
(Luqman: 15)
4. By having good conversations with them.
(Sahih Muslim: 2560)
5. By being gentle and merciful towards them.
(Sunan Tirmidhi: 1924)
6. By presenting gifts to them.
(Sahih ul Jaami: 3004)
7. By accepting their invitations.
(Sahih Muslim: 2162)
8. By generously hosting them.
(Sunan Tirmidhi: 2485)
9. By supplicating for them.
(Sahih Muslim: 2733)
10. By respecting the elders.
(Sunan Tirmidhi: 1920)
11. By showing compassion to the youngsters.
(Sunan Tirmidhi: 1920)
12. By sharing their happiness and sadness.
(Sahih Bukhari: 6951)
13. By easing their affairs through our assistance.
(Sahih Bukhari: 6951)
14. By wishing wellness for them.
(Sahih Muslim: 55)
15. By giving to them (when sought).
(Sahih Muslim: 2162)
16. By seeking sincere counsel from them.
(Surah Imran: 159)
17. By refraining from backbiting them.
(Surah Hujurat: 12)
18. By refraining from cursing them.
(Surah Humaza: 01)
19. By refraining from gossiping about them.
(Surah Humaza: 01)
20. By refraining from libelling them.
(Sahih Muslim: 105)
21. By refraining from calling them by abusive titles.
(Surah Hujurat: 11)
22. By refraining from falsely accusing them.
(Sunan Abu Dawood: 4875)
23. By removing their difficulties.
(Sunan Abu Dawood: 4946)
24. By being merciful towards them.
(Sunan Tirmidhi: 1924)
25. By not being delightful on their trials.
(Lesson derived from Surah Mutaffifeen).
26. We shouldn’t compete unnecessarily as unnecessary competition leads to ungratefulness and weakness.
(Sahih Muslim: 2963)
27. Competition in rushing towards good deeds is permitted. However, this shouldn’t lead to arrogance, show-off etc.
(Surah Mutaffifeen: 26)
28. We must refrain from greed.
(Surah Takathur: 01)
29. We must be ready to sacrifice ourselves for the welfare of each other.
(Surah Hashr: 09)
30. We must be concerned about other (more than ourselves).
(Surah Hashr: 09)
31. We shouldn’t inflict pain on anyone (even in joking).
(Surah Hujurat: 11)
32. We should try to bring benefits to the people.
(Sahih ul Jaami: 3289)
33. We should be gentle while speaking and one must avoid harshness in his speech.
(Surah Imran: 159)
34. We should speak about their good qualities (in their absence).
(Sunan Tirmidhi: 2737)
35. We should control our anger.
(Sahih Bukhari: 6116)
36. We should refrain from seeking revenge.
(Sahih Bukhari: 6853)
37. We shouldn’t humiliate anyone.
(Sahih Muslim: 91)
38. After being grateful to Allaah, we should be grateful to each other.
(Sunan Abu Dawood: 4811)
39. We should visit them in their sickness.
(Sunan Tirmidhi: 969)
40. We should visit their deceased and perform the funeral rites.
(Sahih Muslim: 2162)
We smell good fragrance while picking up flowers and bad odour on picking contamination. This is a parable of good and evil gatherings.
- May Allaah enable us to maintain our relationships with goodness.
Note:
- Usually, there will be gathering sessions before and after the marriage ceremony, so one must remember Allaah and recite Durood (individually) in these gatherings.
- One must preserve himself from slandering, backbiting, mocking, vain speech etc.
- One should make the following supplication at the end of gatherings:
Sunan Tirmidhi (3433) narrated that Abu Barzah al-Aslami (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
The Messenger of Allaah (PBUH) used to say, when he wanted to leave a gathering:
سُبْحـانَكَ اللّهُـمَّ وَبِحَمدِك، أَشْهَـدُ أَنْ لا إِلهَ إِلاّ أَنْتَ أَسْتَغْفِرُكَ وَأَتوبُ إِلَـيْك
Subhaanaka Allaahumma wa bihamdika, ‘ash-hadu ‘an laa ‘ilaaha ‘illaa ‘Anta, ‘astaghfiruka wa ‘atoobu ‘ilayka “Glory and praise be to You, O Allaah, there is no god but You, I seek Your forgiveness and I repent to You.”
- A man said: O Messenger of Allaah, you are saying something that you did not say before. He said:
“It is expiation for anything that happened in the gathering.”
REFERENCE:
BOOK: “CRUCIAL INFORMATION RELATED TO NIKAH”
BY: SHEIKH ARSHAD BASHEER UMARI MADANI