The Meaning of the Word ‘Beating’ in Islam

Before organizations defending human rights in the world condemned domestic violence, Islam had preceded them in condemning domestic violence, promising to the one who commits it punishment in the worldly life and in the Hereafter. Furthermore, the prohibition of that crime is not limited in physical violence only, but also involves verbal abuse. The Prophet said:

“The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the people are safe, and the believer is the one from whom the people’s lives and wealth are safe.” (An-Nasa’i)

The Prophet also said:

‘The true believer is not a sycophant, nor one who curses others, nor an immoral, nor one who speaks shameful words.’ (Al-Bukhari & Al-Albani reported it as Sahih)

One may ask, how can Islam condemn violence when it permits the man, even as the final solution, to beat his wife if he sees that she is immoral?’

In order to answer that question we should firstly explain the difference between the meaning of the word ‘beating’ in our everyday life and the meaning of the word ‘beating’ in Islam. For example, today when one hears that a man has beaten his wife, an awful picture of this unjust violent man that beats his wife comes directly to one’s mind; the picture depicts him beating his wife like a tornado with punches and kicks. Except for that picture, there is another one emerging on one’s mind related to the poor abused woman, whose body is full of wounds, bruises and multiple fractures. This is the meaning of the word ‘beating’ nowadays, which we acquired through our daily experience and the many examples of barbaric men who beat their wives.

But if I told you that ‘I beat the eggs’, or ‘I beat a drum’, would you understand that I beat the eggs with punches and kicks? Or would you understand that I beat a drum with punches and kicks?! As a result, the meaning of the word ‘beating’ changes entirely depending on its linguistic context and according to the purpose of the speaker, his character, his morals. From all this we understand what he means when uttering the word ‘beating’. That’s why the meaning of the word ‘beating’ in Islam is entirely different from the meaning of the word as we perceive it today, since beating in the meaning as it is used today is strictly prohibited in Islam.

Thus, there is absolutely no chance that these two meanings could overlap, since each one of them contradicts the other. If we want to be unbiased we should say that there is no beating of women in Islam and Islam has not allowed anything like that. On the contrary, Islam has forbidden it, as it has forbidden a man to dishonour or offend his wife, or even to speak to her with shameful words. Verily, the meaning of the word ‘beating’ in Islam means nudges, whose aim is to turn a woman’s attention towards her husband and make her understand that she is erring towards the right of her husband and that her husband has the right to correct her behaviour. Islam has also set certain stages which precede the final stage of beating for the husband to solve the problem of his wife if he sees immoral conduct from her. It has made the stage of beating the last resort when the previous stages had no effect on her. Islam has imposed many limitations on the man and if he violates them he becomes a sinner who has transgressed the limits set by Allah, deserving punishment in the worldly life and the Hereafter. These limitations are the following:

1. To try to solve the problem gradually:

The man should strive to solve the problem at the stage of admonition, and if that was fruitless, then he should resort to the second stage of turning his back, and if that was fruitless too, then he can resort to the last stage of the imperceptible beating.

2. The beating should be with a Siwak and be imperceptible:

The Siwak is in the size of a pencil, as you can see in the picture above.

3. He should never touch the face and the sensitive parts of her body:

If the husband does not find any other solution, except for resorting to beating his wife, then he should be careful not to transgress Allah’s limits. Allah has prohibited beating someone’s face in all cases. Furthermore, it is prohibited to beat the sensitive parts of the body, and whoever does it is a sinner. A man being permitted to beat his wife with As-Siwak means that the beating does not take place with the aim of causing pain or harm, so even with the Siwak it is prohibited to beat the face and other sensitive parts.

4. He should neither offend, nor dishonour his wife:

The Prophet said:

 ‘The true believer is not a sycophant, nor one who curses others, nor an immoral, nor one who speaks shameful words. (Al-Haithami)

And as we have said many times, the aim of the three stages that we have mentioned before is to correct the behavior of the wife and not to offend her. Offending never had a correcting function; on the contrary, it may escalate the problem instead of solving it.

5. It should not be performed in any case before the children or other people:

 It is not allowed for the man to beat his wife or correct her before anyone else, especially before the children, as this concerns only the two spouses and no one else. If this took ISLAMLAND place before the children, it would firstly offend the wife and secondly harm the children’s upbringing. What kind of example would a man give to his children if he beat their mother before them?

6. Not leaving marks on her body:

The husband is considered to have sinned if he violates Allah’s limits and beats his wife leaving marks on her body, or making her bleed, or causing her a fracture. Whoever does that is a barbaric, violent man, who does not want to correct his wife’s problem but only wants to take revenge by leaving marks on her body. Such a man should be convicted and legally punished for his crime.

 

REFERENCE:
Book: “Women in Islam & Refutation of some common Misconceptions”
by Dr. Abdur Rahman bin Abdul Kareem Al- Sheha

Translated by: Abu Salman Deya ud-Deen Eberle.