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22. SHAUHAR AUR BIWI KI HATT DHARMI KA ILAAJ [The Solution to End the Obstinacy of the Husband and Wife]

Shauhar aur biwi ki hatt dharmi ka ilaaj

 

1. Inaad, hatt dharmi, Mahmood kaamon may qaabil-e-tareef hai aur mazmoom cheezon may qaabil-e- mazimmat.

2. Hatt dharmi, badaayi ki alaamat nahi balke kamzori ki alaamat hai, kamzori chupaane kay liye aadmi ya aurat yeh raasta ikhtiyaar karta hai.

3. Jo log haalaat aur shakhsiyat kay hisaab say apne aap ko fit nahi kar paate woh log hatt dharmi kay ghalat raaste par chalte hain

4. Hatt dharmi rishte ko todne ka sabab banti hai jabke lachak aur darguzar rishte ko baqaa bakhashte hain.

5. Kabhi hatt dharmi viraasat mein aati hai aur usko sahih say sambhalna nahi aata isliye is par mehnat karke acchayi aur burayi may farq karna padega, tahqeer raaye aur adam mashwarah ki zindagi say bachna uska hal hai.

6. Muhabbat say mahroomi ka shikaar jode hatt dharmi ka shikaar hote hain.

7. Hiwaar yane discussion karke usko hal kar sakte, isi tarah duaaon kay saath, na kay dictation hukum chalaane ya ustaaz banne ki koshish na kare balke baaham guftagoo say maaf karne kay jazbeh say har masail hal ho jata hai.

8. Hilm aata hai tahallum say, gussa peene say gussa peene ki aadat padh jati hai.

9. Takabbur karne ka bura anjaam hota hai, firaun, aad wa samood, qaum-e-loot, qaum-enooh ki hatt dharmi ka anjaam kiya huwa? Is par nazar rakhne say takabbur mein control aata hai. Allaah ki kibriyaai aur Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم ki itteba ko laazim pakad lein.

Mawwadat wa rahmat apnaayein. (30:21)

 

Ibn Qayyim (Rahimahullah) farmate hain Chaar muhlik beemariyon say bachein:

1. Takabbur

2. Hasad mamnoo

3. Ghazab-eshadeed

4. Shahwat

 

 Note:

Ilm-e-nikaah seekhna zaroori hai. 
“Talabul ilmi fareezatun ‘alaa kulli muslim”

 

(Ibn Maajah: 224) kay tahet yeh ilm: Huqooq ul zaujain, Halaal wa haraam, jaaiz wa na jaaiz mein tameez sikhaata hai aur taqaza-e- ilm yeh hai kay aadmi ghusl sharai, tahaarat kay masaail kay saath izdiwaji masaail bhi seekh lay. Bulooghat aur ghusl sharai kay mufassal maloomaat ahle ilm say seekhiye.

 

Note:

Nikaah ka lughwi maana: Nikaah arabi kalimah nakaha, yankihu, nikaahan say hai, isi say tanaakahat al ashjaaru yane gunjaan jungle ya baagh kay hain, jisme darakht ki tahniyan aapas may daakhil hoti hain. Nikaah kay zariye ajnabi mard wa aurat ka milaap hota hai aur woh dukh sukh kay saathi ban jaate hain aur izdiwaji taluqaat qaaim karte hain. Nikaah bimaana aqd wa jimaa bhi istemaal hota hai.

“Al-baa-atu” say jimaa aur asbaab nikaah dono muraad liye gaye hain”.
(Fathul baari laa ibn Hajar: 108/9)

 

 

REFERENCE:
BOOK: “CRUCIAL INFORMATION RELATED TO NIKAH”
BY: SHEIKH ARSHAD BASHEER UMARI MADANI

The Solution to End the Obstinacy of the Husband and Wife

 

1. Obstinacy is recommended in some affairs and disliked in some affairs.

2. Obstinacy is a sign of weakness.

3. One must adapt himself according to the circumstances and the people in Shariah way otherwise they will fall in to the Obstinacy.

4. Obstinacy breaks the relationships whereas gentleness strengthens the relationship.

5. Sometime obstinacy is an evil inherited to the people so they have to purify and control in the Islamic teachings.

6. The people who are deprived from love those are falling in to the obstinacy.

7. Problem should be solved through discussions and not through dictations.

8. One must observe forbearance and tolerance.

9. One must ponder on the fate of arrogant people mentioned in the Quraan such as Firawn, Hamaan, People of Add and People of Samood etc. this will help to control the intolerance and obstinacy.

Ibn Qayyim said:

  • Removing the mountains from their places is easier than removing these four characteristics (of arrogance, envy, anger and lusts) which a person has been afflicted with.

Al Fawaid

  • The Messenger of Allaah (PBUH) said:

“Seeking the (obligatory) religious knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.”

(Sunan Ibn Majah: 224)

 

Learning may be an individual obligation (fard ‘ayn); this refers to learning that which a Muslim cannot do without knowing in order to carry out his religious duties, and to make his deeds sincerely for Allaah alone, may He be exalted, and how to interact with other people. It is enjoined upon every accountable person, male or female – after learning what is needed in order to have proper understanding of the tenets of faith, which form the foundation of the religion – to learn about that which will help him to do acts of worship and to interact with others in the correct manner; that includes Wudoo’, Ghusl, Prayer, Fasting, rulings on Zakaah and Hajj, Nikaah etc… for those for whom these things are obligatory, and having a sincere intention for the sake of Allaah when doing acts of worship.

The word ‘Nikaah’ comes from the verb ‘na-ka-ha’ which means to join together two things or in a more general sense, embracing and the like. It is the conclusion of a contract between a man and a woman, with each of them desiring to enjoy and take pleasure in one another, establish a righteous family and a safe and sound society. The word Nikaah can refer to both the marriage contract and intercourse together.

The phrase in the famous hadith of Bukhari related to Nikaah translated here as “afford it” may refer to the costs of marriage as well as ‘intercourse’.

Ibn Hajar in Fathul Bari: 9:108

 

 

REFERENCE:
BOOK: “CRUCIAL INFORMATION RELATED TO NIKAH”
BY: SHEIKH ARSHAD BASHEER UMARI MADANI
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