54. JIMAA’ KA TAREEQA AUR US KAY CHAND ADAAB-O-MASAIL [Etiquette of Sex in Islam]
Jimaa’ ka tareeqa aur us kay Chand adaabo masail:
Maqbool Ahmed Salafi
Islamic Da’wat centre, shumaili Taaif (Musarrah)
Deen-e-Islam insani zindagi kay tamam taqaze bahusno khubi pura karta hai balkeh zindagi kay tamam umoor kay lie pakeezah usul aur fitri nizam paish karta hai. Allah ta’ala Haq baat kehne se nahin sharmata, us ne hamen apne paighambar kay zariye zindagi ki choti se choti aur bari se bari baat batla di. Nikah aur biwi se jimaa’ sharamgah ki hifazat kay Sath afzaaish e nasal ka sabab hai phir Allah itni bari baat Kese nahin batlata, yeh bhi hamen batla dia. Aj ham jis daur se guzar rahe hain is mein burai fashion aur be-hayai aam si bat ho gai hai. Allah ne hamen kufr-o-dalalat se nijaat de kar Iman-o-hidayat ki taufeeq bakhshi hai, hamen hamesha apna qadam barhane se pehle sochna hai keh kahin koi ghalti tou nahin ho rahi hai, har har qadam phunk phunk kar uthana hai.
Paidaish kay ba’ad jab koi jawani ki dehlees par qadam rakhta hai tou usay fitri sukun hasil karne kay liye shareek e hayaat ki zarurat paish aati hai, Islam ne shareek e hayat banane kay lie nikah ka pakeezah nizam paish kia hai. Nikah se infiradi aur samaji donon satah pay fasad o bigar ka ansar khatam ho jata hai aur Ghar se le kar Samaaj tak ek Sauleh ma’ashray ki ta’meer hoti hai.
Nikah kar kay do ajnabi apasi pyar-o-muhabbat mein is qadar doob jate hain Jahan ajnabiat ‘unqa’ aur apnaiyat qadeem rishta Nazar ata hai. Mian biwi ek dusre ka libas ban jate hain, pakeezah ta’alluq ya’ani uqqd e nikah kay ba’ad aapas ki sari ajnabiat aur Sara pardah uth jata hai goya donon ek jaan do qalib ho jate hain. Yeh Allah ka bandon par bara ehsan hai. Mian biwi kay jinsi milaap ko arbi mein jimaa’ aur Urdu mein hum-bistiri se taa’beer karte hain. Jis tarah Islam ne nikah ka pakeezah nizam diya hai isi tarah jimaa’ kay bhi saaf suthray rehnuma usool diye hain, in usoolon ki jaankari har Muslim mard-o-khatoon par zaruri hai. Sutoore zail mein jimaa’ ka tareeqa aur us se muta’alliq adaabo masail bayan kar raha hun.
Yahudion ka khayal tha keh biwi ki agli sharamgah mein peeche se jimaa’ karne se larka bhenga paida hoga, Allah ne is khayal ki tardeed karte hue farmaya:
نِسَآؤُكُمۡ حَرۡثٌ لَّـكُمۡ ۖ فَاۡتُوۡا حَرۡثَكُمۡ اَنّٰى شِئۡتُمۡ
“Tumhari biwian tumhari khetian hain, lihaza tum apni khetion mein jidhar se chaho ao”
(Al Baqarah: 223)
Is ayat ka matlab yeh hai keh biwi ki agli sharamgah mein jis tarah se chahen jimaa’ kar sakte hain, shauhar kay lie biwi ki agli sharamgah hi halal hai aur pichli sharamgah mein wati karna Haram hai chunancheh is bat ko Allah ne is ayat se pehle bayan kia hai. Allah ka farman hai:
وَ يَسۡــئَلُوۡنَكَ عَنِ الۡمَحِيۡضِۙ قُلۡ هُوَ اَذًى فَاعۡتَزِلُوۡا النِّسَآءَ فِى الۡمَحِيۡضِۙ وَلَا تَقۡرَبُوۡهُنَّ حَتّٰى يَطۡهُرۡنَۚ فَاِذَا تَطَهَّرۡنَ فَاۡتُوۡهُنَّ مِنۡ حَيۡثُ اَمَرَكُمُ اللّٰهُؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِيۡنَ وَيُحِبُّ الۡمُتَطَهِّرِيۡنَ ۞
“Ap se haiz kay baare mein sawal karte hain, keh dijiye woh gandagi hai. Haalat e haiz mein aurton se alag raho aur Jab tak woh Paak na ho jaen un kay qareeb na Jao, han jab woh Paak hojaen to un kay pas Jao Jahan se Allah ne tumhen ijazat di hai Allah taubah karne walon ko aur Paak rehne walon ko pasand farmata hai “.
(Al Baqarah: 222)
Yahan par Allah hukum de raha hai keh haiz ki halat mein biwi se jimaa’ na karo aur jab haiz se pak ho kar ghusul kar le tou us kay Sath us jagah se jimaa’ karo jis jagah jimaa’ karne ki ijazat di hai . Haiz agli sharamgah se ata hai, haiz ka khoon aane tak jimaa’ mamnoo’ hai aur jab haiz band hojae tou usi jagah jimaa’ karna hai Jahan se khoon araha tha.
نِسَآؤُكُمۡ حَرۡثٌ لَّـكُمۡ ۖ
ki tafseer Sahih ahadith se bhi mulaahiza farma len taakeh bat mazeed wazeh ho jae. Raawiye Hadith Ibn e Abbas رضي الله عنهما bayan karte hain jab yeh aayat naazil hui:
” نِسَآؤُكُمۡ حَرۡثٌ لَّـكُمۡ ۖ فَاۡتُوۡا حَرۡثَكُمۡ اَنّٰى شِئۡتُمۡ “
أي مقبلات و مدبرات و مستلقيات يعني بذلك موضع الولد
“Tumhari biwian tumhari kheti hain lihaza tum jis tareeqe se chaho un se jimaa’ karo.
(Sahih Abi Dawood;2164)
Ya’ani khuwah aage se khuwah peeche se khuwah lita kar ya’ani aulad wali jagah se”
Ek dusri riwayat mein Ibne Abbas hi se marwi hai:
نِسَآؤُكُمۡ حَرۡثٌ لَّـكُمۡ ۖ فَاۡتُوۡا حَرۡثَكُمۡ اَنّٰى شِئۡتُمۡ
أقبل و أدبر ، واتق الدبر والحيضة
“Tumhari biwian tumhari kheti hain lihaza tum jis tareeqe se chaho un se jimaa’ karo khuwah biwi se aage se sohbat karo chahe peeche ki taraf se karo magar pichli sharamgah se bacho aur haiz ki halat mein jimaa’ karne se bacho”
(Sahih At Tirmidhi: 2980)
Aj kay pur-fitan daur mein mian biwi ko Islam ki yeh baat janni chahie aur ise hi amli zindagi mein nafiz karna chahie , jo log fuhush videos dekh kar ghalat tareeqe se Mani kharij karte hain us ki zindagi se haya Nikal jati hai, lamha ba lamha be hayai ki raah chalne lagta hai . Yaad rakhen biwi se islami tareeqe se jimaa’ karna bhi ba’ise sawab hai. Nabi (ﷺ) ka farman hai:
وفي بضع أحدكم صدقة قالوا : يا رسول الله أيأتي أحدنا شهوته ويكون له فيها أجر : قال : أرأيتم لو وضعها في حرام أكان عليه فيها وزر؟ فكذلك إذا وضعها في الحلال كان له أجر
“Aur (biwi se jimaa’ karte hue) tumhare uzuw mein sadqah hai. Sahabah-e-kiram رضي الله عنهم ne pucha: ae Allah kay Rasul (ﷺ) ! Ham mein se koi apni khuwahish Puri karta hai tou kia us mein bhi ajar milta hai? Aap (ﷺ) ne farmaya: batao agar woh yeh (khuwahish) haram jagah Puri karta tou kia usay us ka gunah hota? Isi tarah jab woh ise halal jagah Puri karta hai tou us kay liye ajar hai”
(Sahih Muslim: 1006)
*Ab neeche jimaa’ kay Chand adaab o masail zikar kie jate hain:
- Biwi se jimaa’ izzat o asmat ki hifazat, afzaish e nasal aur Haram Kam se bachne ki niyat se ho, aisi Surat mein Allah na sirf jimaa’ par ajar dega balkeh naik aulad se bhi nawazega aur dunyavi o ukhrawi barkaton se nawazega.
2. Jimaa’ shehwat zani nahin hai balkeh zawjain kay liye sukoon e qalb aur raahat e jaan hai, is liye qabl az jimaa’ shauhar biwi se khush taba’i ki bat kare aur jimaa’ kay liye zehni taur par aur jismani taur par Raazi kare.
3) Jimaa’ se qabl ye Dua parhna masnoon hai:
بسم الله اللهم جنبنا الشيطان و جنب الشيطان ما رزقتنا
“Ae Allah! Hamen shaitan se alehda rakh aur tu jo aulad hamen inaayat farmaey usay bhi shaitan se dur rakh”
(Sahih Al Bukhari 3271)
Phir agar unhen bacha diya gaya tou shaitan usay nuqsan nahin pohoncha sakega.
4) Jimaa’ ki jagah awaz sunne wala aur dekhne wala koi na ho ya’ani dhaki chupi jagah ho aur jimaa’ ki had tak sharamgah kholna kafi hai taaham ek dusre ko dekhna aur mukammal barhana hona aapas mein jaaiz hai, jis Hadith mein mazkoor hai keh jimaa’ kay waqt biwi ki sharamgah dekhne se andhe pan ki bimari lahaq hoti hai usay sheikh Albani ne mozoo’ hadith qarar diya hai. Aur isi tarah wo saari ahadith bhi za’eef hain Jin mein mazkoor hai keh syeda Ayesha رضي الله عنها aur RasullAllah (ﷺ) ne kabhi ek dusre ki sharamgah nahin dekhi.
5) Bahaalat e ehram aur Bahaalat e rozah jimaa’ mamnoo’ hai, baqi din aur rat kay kisi hisse mein jimaa’ kar sakte hain. Haalat e haiz aur haalat e nifas mein sirf jimaa’ karna mana hai magar jimaa’ kay elawa biwi se lazzat andoz hona jaaiz hai. Agar kisi ne haiz ki halat mein jimaa’ kar lia tou ek deenar ya nisf deenar sadqa karna hoga, sath hi Allah se Sachi taubah kare taakeh aainda Allah ka hukum Tor kar ma’siat ka irtikab na kare. Yahi hukum nifas ki halat mein jimaa’ ka hai albattah Sahih qaul ki Roshni mein mustahaza se jimaa’ karna jaaiz hai.
6) Biwi ki agli sharamgah mein jimaa’ karna haiz o nifas se paki ki halat mein jaaiz hai aur jimaa’ karne kay liye biwi se boos o kinar hona, Khush taba’i karna, jimaa’ kay lie tayar karne kay waastay a’zaa e badan bashumul sharamgah choona ya dekhna jaaiz o halal hai. Phir agli sharamgah mein jimaa’ kay liye jo kefiyat hai’at ikhtiyar ki jae tamam kefiaat jaaiz hain. Yaad rahe jimaa’ ki khuwahish baidar hone aur us ka mutalibah karne par na shauhar biwi se inkar kare aur na hi biwi shauhar se inkar kare.
7) Shauhar kay liye biwi ki sharamgah choone aur dekhne mein koi haraj nahin hai lekin usay choomna be hayai hai. Isi tarah biwi kay lie mard ki sharamgah choone aur dekhne mein koi haraj nahin hai magar use choomna aur munh mein dakhil karna be hayai hai. In do baton ka ek jumle mein khulasa yeh hai keh aurat ki sharamgah choomna aur munh se sex (oral sex) karna sarapa be hayai hai aur Islam ki pakeezah taleemat kay khilaf hai.
8) Mian biwi ka ek dusre se ghair fitri tareeqe se Mani kharij karwana bhi muta’addid jismani nuqsanat kay Sath be haya logon ka Rasta ikhtiyar karna hai, momin har Kam mein haya ka pehlu madd e Nazar rakhta hai. Amooman shauhar apni biwi ko ghair fitri tareeqe se mubashirat apnane aur be hayai ka aslub ikhtiyar karne ki da’wat deta hai, aisi aurat kay saamne ehd e Rasool ki us Ansari aurat ka waqia hona chahiye jis kay Qureshi ya’ani muhajir shauhar ne us se apne yahan kay tareeqe se mubashirat karna chaha jo Ansari kay yahan ma’roof na tha tou uski biwi ne is bat se inkar kiya aur kaha ham sirf ek hi Andaz se jimaa’ kay qaail hain lihaza wohi tareeqa apnao ya mujh se door Raho. Yahan tak keh bat RasullAllah (ﷺ) tak pohonch gai aur us waqt Quran ki ayat
نساءكم حرث لكم فأتوا حرثكم أنى شئتم
Nazil hui jis ki tafseer upar guzar chuki hai. Waqia ki tafseel dekhen .
(Sahih Abi Dawood: 2164)
9) Nabi (ﷺ) ka farman hai keh jo shakhs apni biwi ki dubur mein aata hai wo mal’oon hai
(Sahih Abi Dawood: 2162)
Lihaza koi musalman la’anati Kam kar kay khud ko qehr e Ilahi ka sazawar na banae. Kisi se esa ghinaona Kam sarzad ho gaya tou wo foran Rabb ki taraf iltifat kare aur Allah se taubah kar kay gunah ma’af kara le. Jahan tak logon ka ye khayal karna keh biwi ki pichli sharamgah mein jimaa’ karne se nikah baatil ho jata hai so aisi bat ki koi haqeeqat nahin hai.
10) Ek hi rat mein do bar jimaa’ karne se pehle agar mayassar ho tou ghusul kar lia jae, ya wuzu kar liya jae. Bagher wuzu kay bhi dobara jimaa’ kar sakte hain kyun keh RasullAllah (ﷺ) ek ghusul se Kai azwaj se mubashirat farmate the.
11) Mard ki sharamgah aurat ki sharamgah mein dakhil hone se aurat mard donon par ghusul wajib ho jata hai chahe Mani ka inzal ho ya na ho. Halate janabat mein soya ja sakta hai taaham fajrr se pehle ya jo waqt ho us namaz kay waaste ghusul kar le taakeh bila takheer waqt pe namaz parh sake. Halate janabat mein Qur’an ki tilawat nahin kar sakte magar zikro azkar, duao salam, Kam kaj, bat cheet, khana Pina sab jaaiz hain hatta keh sehri bhi kha sakte hain.
12) Jab jimaa’ ki halat mein Azan hone lage ya iqamat ki awaz sunai de tou us Amal ko jari rakhne mein koi haraj nahin taaham is se jald faraghat haasil kar kay aur ghusul kar kay namaz adaa Karen. Yaad rahe Azan sunne kay ba’ad bhi qasdan bistar par lete rehna hatta keh iqamat hone lage tab jimaa’ karna hamari kotahi aur namaz se ghaflat hai. Jahan tak Azan kay jawab ka masla [3:06 pm, 11/12/2022] Komal Nasim: hai, tou yeh sab par wajib nahin balkeh farz e kifayah aur bare ajro sawab ka haamil hai, islie mian biwi se baat cheet ya buso kinar kay dawran jawab dena chahen tou dene mein koi haraj nahin hai lekin jimaa’ kay waqt Azan ka jawab dene se ulama ne Mana kiya hai, jab is Amal se farigh hojaen tou baqia kalimat ka jawab de sakte hain.
13) Aulad kay darmian zarurat kay tehet waqfa karne ki niyat se jimaa’ karte hue mani sharamgah se bahar kharij karna jaaiz hai, shoqiya aisa karne se beher surat bachna chahiye kyun keh nikah ka ehem Maqsad afzaish e nasal hai.
14) Mian biwi ki khalwat aur jimaa’ ki baten logon mein bayan karna be hayai ki alamat hai, RasullAllah (ﷺ) ne is Amal se ummat ko Mana farmaya hai. Is bat se un be hayaon ko naseehat lena chahie jo jimaa’ ki tasweer ya video banate hain, phir usay logon mein phelate hain. Na’uzu billah kitne mal’oon hain fuhush videos banane, phelane aur dekhne wale.
Nabi (ﷺ) ka farman hai:
كل أمتي معافى إلا المجاهرين، وإن من المجاهرة أن يعمل الرجل بالليل عملا، ثم يصبح وقد ستره الله عليه فيقول: يا فلان، عملت البارحة كذا وكذا، وقد بات يستره ربه، ويصبح يكشف ستر الله عنه
Tarjuma:
” Meri tamam ummat ko ma’af kar diya jaega magar jo e’lania gunah karte hain. E’lania gunah karne ka matlab yeh hai keh ek shakhs rat kay waqt gunah karta hai , bawajud yeh keh Allah ta’ala ne us kay gunah par pardah dala hota hai lekin subha hote hi wo kehne lagta hai: ae fulan! Main ne rat ko fulan fulan bura Kam kia tha rat guzar gai thi aur us kay Rabb ne us ka gunah chupa rakha tha jab subha hui tou wo khud par diye gae Allah kay parde ko kholne laga “
(Sahih Al Bukhari: 6069)
Allah ta’ala hamare andar islami ghairato hamiyyat paida kar de, haya ki daulat se mala maal kar de, be hayai se koson meel dur kar de aur marte dam tak Islam ki pakeezah taleemat pay ikhlaas kay Sath Amal karte rehne ki taufeeq bakhshay.
Ameen
Etiquette of Sex in Islam
Question
Islam teaches us everything such as to how to eat, dress, etc. Is there also a Sunnah way of sleeping with one’s wife? Is any position Sunnah? Or there is nothing in Sahih Hadith with regard to this?
| Summary of answer Among the important matters which should be paid attention to when engaging in sex are the following: 1. Having the intention of doing this thing only for the sake of Allah. 2. Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. 3. Saying this dua: Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna al-shaytan wa jannib al-shaytan ma razqtana. 4. Having intercourse in the vagina in whatever manner. 5. Avoiding intercourse in the back passage. 6. It is permissible to delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer. 7. Avoiding intercourse during menses. 8. It is permissible for the husband to withdraw (‘azl) if he does not want to have a child 9. It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life. |
Praise be to Allah.
Yes, you are right: Islam teaches us all things and has brought all good teaching to mankind concerning their livelihood, religion, living and dying, because it is the religion of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.
Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explain and to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire.
Islam connects it to a righteous intention, supplications (adhkar) and proper conduct which lift it up to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) explains this. Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) says in his book Zad al-Ma’ad:
Purpose of sex in Islam
Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance, whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and enjoyment, and it may fulfil the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes:
- The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reach the number of souls that Allah has decreed should be created in this world.
- Expulsion of the water (semen) which may cause harm to the body if it is retained.
- Fulfilling physical desires and enjoying physical pleasure. This alone is the feature that will be present in Paradise, because there will be no producing offspring there, and no retention which needs to be relieved by ejaculation.
The best doctors suggest that sex is one of the means of maintaining good health.
[al-Tibb al-Nabawi, p. 249]
And he (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“Among its benefits is that it helps to lower the gaze, brings self-control, enables one to keep away from haram things, and achieves all of these things for the woman too. It brings benefit to a man with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and benefits the woman too. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to enjoy regular intimate relations with his wives, and he said, In your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me. (Narrated by Ahmad, 3/128; al-Nasai, 7/61; classed as sahih by al-Hakim)
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him.
[Narrated by al-Bukhari, 9/92; Muslim, 1400) (Al-Tibb al-Nabawi, 251]
Etiquette of sex in Islam
Among the important matters which should be paid attention to when engaging in intimate relations:
1- Having the sincere intention of doing this thing only for the sake of Allah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one’s wife from doing haram things, to increase the numbers of the Muslim ummah so as to raise its status, for there is honour and pride in large numbers. It should be known that one will be rewarded for this action, even if he finds immediate pleasure and enjoyment in it. It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: In the sexual intercourse of any one of you there is reward (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife). They said, O Messenger of Allah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Do you not see that if he were to do it in a haram manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halal manner, he will be rewarded.
[Narrated by Muslim, 720]
2- Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to play with his wives and kiss them.
3- When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna al-shaytan wa jannib al-shaytan ma razqtana (In the name of Allah, O Allah Keep us away from the Shaytan and keep the Shaytan away from what You bestow on us (our children)). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: If Allah decrees that they should have a child, the Shaytan will never harm him.
[Narrated by al-Bukhari, 9/187]
4- It is permissible for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina in whatever manner he wishes, from behind or from the front, on the condition that it is in her vagina, which is the place from which a child is born. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will [al-Baqarah 2:223]. Jabir ibn ‘Abd-Allah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to say that if a man had intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child would have a squint. Then this ayah was revealed: Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: From the front or from the back, so long as it is in the vagina.
[Narrated by al-Bukhari, 8/154; Muslim, 4/156]
5- It is not permissible for the husband under any circumstances whatsoever to have intercourse with his wife in her back passage. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will [al-Baqarah 2:223]. It is known that the place of tilth is the vagina, which is the place from which one hopes for a child. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: He is cursed who has intercourse with women in their back passages. (Narrated by Ibn Udayy, 1/211; classed as sahih by al-Albani in Adab al-Zafaf, p. 105). This is because it [anal intercourse] goes against the fitrah [natural inclinations of man] and is an action which is revolting to those of a sound human nature; it also causes the woman to miss out on her share of pleasure; and the back passage is a place of filth and dirt and there are other reasons which confirm the fact that this deed is haram. For more information,
please see Question #1103 .
6- If a man has intercourse with his wife and wants to come back to her a second time, he should do wudu, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: If any one of you has intercourse with his wife then wants to repeat it, let him do wudu between the two (actions), for it is more energizing for the second time. (Narrated by Muslim, 1/171). This is mustahabb (recommended), not wajib (obligatory); if he is able to do ghusl between the two actions, this is better, because of the hadith of Abu Raf’i who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) went around his wives one day and did ghusl in this ones house and in this ones house. He (Abu Raf’i) said: I said to him, O Messenger of Allah, why do you not do one ghusl? He said, This is cleaner and better and purer.
[Narrated by Abu Dawud and al-Nasai, 1/79]
When is ghusl compulsory for spouses?
7- One or both of the spouses have to do ghusl in the following situations:
-
When the two circumcised parts meet, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: When the circumcised part meets the circumcised part (according to another report: when the circumcised part touches the circumcised part), ghusl becomes wajib (obligatory). (Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim, no. 526). This ghusl is obligatory whether ejaculation takes place or not. The touching of the circumcised parts means that the glans or tip of the penis penetrates the vagina; it does not mean mere touching.
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Emission of semen, even if the two circumcised parts do not touch, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, Water is for water [i.e., the water of ghusl is necessary when the water of semen is ejaculated].
[Narrated by Muslim, no. 1/269). Al-Baghawi said in Sharh al-Sunnah (2/9)]
It is permissible for the husband and wife to do ghusl together in one place , even if he sees her and she sees him, because of the hadith of ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel between me and him; we would take turns dipping our hands in the vessel and he would take more than me until I would say, Leave some for me, leave some for me. She said, and they were both junub (in a state of janabah). Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
8- It is permissible for a person who has to make ghusl to sleep and delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer, but it is definitely mustahabb for him to do wudu before sleeping, because of the hadith of ‘Umar, who said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), Can any one of us sleep when he is junub? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Yes, but let him do wudu if he wishes.
[Narrated by Ibn Hibban, 232]
9- It is forbidden to have intercourse with a woman when she is menstruating (having her period), because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina). Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers, etc.). [al-Baqarah 2:222]. The person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating has to give a dinar or half a dinar in charity, as it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) obliged a man to do so when he came and asked him about that. This was reported by the authors of al-Sunan and classed as sahih by al-Albani in Adab al-Zafaf, p. 122. But it is permissible for the husband to enjoy his menstruating wife without having intercourse, because of the hadith of ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) would tell one of us, when she was menstruating, to wear a waist-wrapper, then her husband would lie with her. (Agreed upon).
10- It is permissible for the husband to withdraw (‘azl) if they do not want to have a child; by the same token it is permissible for him to use condoms if his wife gives him permission, because she has the right to pleasure and to children. The evidence for this is the hadith of Jabir ibn ‘Abd-Allah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said, We used to do ‘azl at the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) heard about that, and he did not forbid us.
[Narrated by al-Bukhari, 9/250; Muslim, 4/160]
But it is better not to do any of that, for several reasons, including the fact that it deprives the woman of pleasure or reduces the pleasure for her; and that it cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to increase the number of offspring, as mentioned above.
11- It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life; indeed, this is one of the most evil things. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Among the most evil of people before Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spreads her secrets.
[Narrated by Muslim, 4/157]
It was reported from Asma bint Yazid that she was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and men and women were sitting with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, Would any man say what he did with his wife? Would any woman tell others what she did with her husband? The people kept quiet and did not answer. I [Asma] said: Yes, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah, they (women) do that, and they (men) do that. He said, Do not do that. It is like a male devil meeting a female devil in the road and having intercourse with her whilst the people are watching.
[Narrated by Abu Dawud, no. 1/339; classed as sahih by al-Albani in Adab al-Zafaf, p. 143]
This is what we were able to mention about the etiquette of sexual relations. Praise be to Allah Who has guided us to this great religion with its sublime manners. Praise be to Allah Who has shown us the best of this world and the next. May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
And Allah knows best.
REFERENCE:
https://islamqa.info/en/answers/5560/etiquette-of-sex-in-islam
جماع کا طریقہ اور اس کے چندآداب و مسائل
مقبول احمد سلفی
اسلامک دعوۃ سنٹر،شمالی طائف(مسرہ)
نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّىٰ شِئْتُمْ ۖ
(البقرة:223)
وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْمَحِيضِ ۖ قُلْ هُوَ أَذًى فَاعْتَزِلُوا النِّسَاءَ فِي الْمَحِيضِ ۖ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّىٰ يَطْهُرْنَ ۖ فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ اللَّهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ
(البقرة:222)
” نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ”
(نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أنَّى شِئْتُمْ)أي مُقبِلاتٍ ومُدبِراتٍ ومُستَلقِياتٍ يعني بذلِكَ مَوضعَ الولَدِ)
(صحيح أبي داود:2164)
نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ أقبِلْ وأدبِرْ، واتَّقِ الدُّبرَ والحَيضةَ
(صحيح الترمذي:2980)
وفي بُضْعِ أَحَدِكُمْ صَدَقَةٌ، قالوا: يا رَسولَ اللهِ، أَيَأتي أَحَدُنَا شَهْوَتَهُ وَيَكونُ له فِيهَا أَجْرٌ؟ قالَ: أَرَأَيْتُمْ لو وَضَعَهَا في حَرَامٍ أَكانَ عليه فِيهَا وِزْرٌ؟ فَكَذلكَ إذَا وَضَعَهَا في الحَلَالِ كانَ له أَجْرٌ.
(صحيح مسلم:1006)
اب نیچے جماع کے چندآداب و مسائل ذکر کئے جاتے ہیں ۔
بسْمِ اللَّهِ، اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ وجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ ما رَزَقْتَنَا
(صحيح البخاري:3271)
واقعہ کی تفصیل دیکھیں: (صحيح أبي داود:2164)
( صحيح البخاري:6069)
آمین
REFERENCE:
http://maquboolahmad.blogspot.com/2019/04/blog-post.html?m=1