27. AULAAD KI ACCHI TARBIYAT KARNA [Good Training of Children]
Aulaad ki accchi tarbiyat karna
Aulaad ki tarbiyat shaadi say pehle dulha dulhan kay inteqaab say hi shuroo ho jaati hai.
Ibn Qayyim (Rahimahullah) farmate hain:
Jisne apni aulaad ki acchi tarbiyat karne may kotaahi ki aur isko nazar andaaz kar diya, to usne bahut badi ghalti ki, kyun kay aulaad may aksar fasaad waalidain hi ki taraf say aata hai, aur agar unhune beparwaahi say kaam liya aur deen kay farayez aur sunan ki taleem naa di to aisi aulad naa
to apne aap ko faida day sakegi aur na apne waalidain kay liye khair ka zariya saabit hogi. Aik baap nay apne bete ko uski badsulooki par dantaa to usne kaha: Abbujaan! Aap nay bachpan may mera haq-e-qidmat adaa nahi kiya to mein nay bade hokar naa farmani ki hai, aap nay mujhe bachpan may zaae kiya to mai aap ko budhape mein zaae kar raha hun.
Aik ahem baat yeh bhi hai kay tarbiyati qatl (adam tarbiyat) jismaani qatl say bura hai.
(Al fitnatu ashaddu minal-qatl Surah Bakharah: 191)
REFERENCE:
BOOK: “NIKAH SE MUTALIQ AHEM MALOOMAT”
BY: SHEIKH ARSHAD BASHEER UMARI MADANI
Good Training of Children
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Whoever neglects to teach his child that which will benefit him, and leaves him without any guidance, has wronged him gravely. Most children’s deviance is because of their parents and the parents’ neglect and failure to teach them the obligatory religious duties and the Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH), so they neglected them when they were small.…
How many are the parents who were the cause of their children’s misfortune and suffering in this world and the hereafter, because of their negligence and failure to discipline the child, and their encouraging and helping him to pursue his whims and desires. By doing that, they think that they are being kind to the child, at the time when they are disgracing him, and they think that they are showing mercy to him at the time when they are wronging him. Thus the child will be of no benefit to his parent, and the parent is the cause of the child’s misfortune and of his missing out on opportunities for success in this world and the hereafter…
If you think of the causes of children’s misguidance and corruption, you will see that it is mostly the fault of the parents.
[End quote from Tuhfat al-Mawdood bi Ahkaam al-Mawlood (p. 229, 242)]
REFERENCE:
BOOK: “CRUCIAL INFORMATION RELATED TO NIKAH”
BY: SHEIKH ARSHAD BASHEER UMARI MADANI