20. NIKAAH KAY BAAD BAAZ NASEEHATEIN AUR AHEM TALEEMAAT [Some Important Advices after the Nikaah]
Nikaah kay baad baaz naseehatein aur ahem taleemaat
1. Miyan biwi may sulah karane kay liye jhoot bolne ki ruqsat hai.
(Muslim: 1605)
2. Biwi bacchon par kharch karna afzal sadqa hai.
(Muslim: 995)
3. Dulha dulhan ko chahiye kay apne susraali rishtedaaron say silah rahmi karein, jis ka sawaab yeh hai kay umar aur rizq may kushaadgi ata ki jaati hai aur Allaah ki rahmat kay haqdaar ho jaate hai.
(Bukhari: 2067)
4. Jis tarah mard aurat kay zarar say bachne kay liye apna difa khud kar leta hai (jo hudood use bataye gaye hain usmein rahkar) usi tarah agar aurat apne shauhar kay zarar say bachna chahe to Islam nay maqool raasta bataya hai woh yeh kay aurat apni baat zimmedaaraan ya qaazi ya haakim tak lay jaa sakti hai.
5. Aap صلى الله عليه وسلم nay apni zindagi may kabhi apni kisi biwi ko nahi maara. (al asaleebun nabawiyyah fi mu’alajatil mushkilaatiz zaujiyyah – ki tahqeeq kay mutabiq) Aap صلى الله عليه وسلم nay to kabhi gaali bhi nahi di.
6. Tohfe waapis lene say bachna zaroori hai.
7. Imaam Albaani (Rahimahullah) nay teen sharton par mawaani hamal ki ijaazat di hai:
- Ghaalib imkaan ho kay aurat ko zarar kaseer wa zarar azeem laahaq ho sakta hai.
- Maut ka yaqeeni qatrah.
Note: Do siqah doctor is baat par gawaahi day tab hi maana jaayega.
- Haq istemtaa: Biwi aur shauhar ka maqsad istemta ho to woh apna yeh haq istemaal kar sakte hain.
(Aadaab uz-Zifaaf)
8. Jaaiz wa halaal waadah poora karna zaroori hai.
9. Shauhar biwi aik doosre kay waalidain ka adab wa ehteraam karein aur husn-e-sulook say pesh aayein.
10. Maa baap ko chahiye kay shauhar biwi kay is rishte ko competition (tanaafus) kay tarah na lein balke compliment (madadgaar) kay taur par lein.
11. Saas bahu aur nanad bhabi kay rishte ko aakhirat ki kaamiyaabi ka zariya banaye, na kay duniya kay laalach ya aik doosre say muqaablah aaraai, saazish, gheebat, choghal khori, bohtaan wa ilzaam may sarf na karein.
12. Mahenge rukhkhe beja kharch mein aate hain.
13. Shaadi kay baad jumaagi kay naam say musalsil chaar ya paanch hafte dawatein karna naa jaaiz rasm hai.
14. Shaadi kay baad tafreeh ki jaaiz wa naa jaaiz hudood:
Shaadi kay baad miyan biwi sair wa tafreeh kay liye jaate hain to jaaiz hai agar woh halaal tafreeh ho, sharai hudood mein ho, amar bil maaroof wa nahi anil munkar baja laate huwe aur israaf wa tabzeer say bachte huwe, lekin agar maghribi tahzeeb ka honeymoon ya shaher asal ya koi rasm ya laazmi samajhkar ya tashabboh ki gharz say jaana maghribi tahzeeb ki andhee taqleed hai.
REFERENCE:
BOOK: “NIKAH SE MUTALIQ AHEM MALOOMAT”
BY: SHEIKH ARSHAD BASHEER UMARI MADANI
Some Important Advices after the Nikaah
1. One can lie in order to reconcile between the husband and wife.
(Sahih Muslim: 1605)
2. The best from of charity is to spend on wife and children.
(Sahih Muslim: 995)
3. One can live a longer span of life and attain the mercy of Allaah by being kind and merciful to his/her relatives.
(Sahih Bukhari: 2067)
4. The woman can put her case (in order to avoid harm) in front of the Qadhi similar to the man who defends himself against the harm of his wife.
5. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) never harmed any of his wives.
6. The Messenger of Allaah (PBUH) never abused any of his wives.
7. Refrain from taking back your gifts.
8. Allama Albani permitted Birth control / avoiding to conceive based on three conditions:
adabuzzifaaf by Albani.
- To ward off harm from the mother (fear of severe illness.
- Birth control / avoiding to conceive is allowed if it certainly poses a danger to the safety of the mother and there certainly exists a fear that she will die if it continues.
Note: It is permissible only if 2 trustworthy doctors strongly declared.
- Haqqe istimta (for the sake of lawful joy)
9. Fulfilling the legal and valid promises.
10. Fulfilling the rights of each of their parents.
11. The in-laws should not consider the relationship of husband and wife as a competition. Rather they should compliment it.
12. Refrain from expensive wedding cards as it falls under extravagance.
13. The relationship of bride with her mother-in law should be peaceful one. Both of them must refrain from envy, hatred, gossiping, backbiting, jealousy etc.
14. It is impermissible to perform continuous feasts for 4-5 days (after the consummation of marriage).
The Shari Limits of Entertainment
The couple can entertain themselves by being in the prescribed limits of the Shariah such as commanding the good and forbidding the evil.
Honeymoon is synonymous to blindly following the western culture.
REFERENCE:
BOOK: “CRUCIAL INFORMATION RELATED TO NIKAH”
BY: SHEIKH ARSHAD BASHEER UMARI MADANI