47. KHAWANIND KI ITA’AT NA KARNA [A wife disobeying her husband]
AURAT KA APNE KHAWAND KI ITA’AT NA KARNA:
Allah ta’ala ne farmaya:
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتُ قَٰنِتَٰتٌ حَٰفِظَٰتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا۞
“Aur Jin aurton ki sarkashi ka tumhen andesha ho tou pehle unhen naseehat karo, aur unhen bistare khuwab par tanha chordo aur (phir bhi na manen tou) unhen maaro aur agar maan jaen tou phir un kay khilaf koi raah na talash karo yaqeen jano keh Allah sab se buland aur sab se bara hai”
An-Nisa : 34
Al wahidi ne farmaya: yahan ((النشوز)) ka ma’aani hai khawand ki nafarmani karna aur woh hai khilaf warzi kay sath us (khawand) par bulando ghalib hona
Ataa ne farmaya: woh yeh hai keh woh (aurat) us (khawand) kay lie itar wa khushbu lagae lekin usko apne qareeb na aane de aur woh uski jo ita’at kia karti thi use chor kar nafarmani par utar ae .
((فعظوهن))
Unhen Allah ki kitab kay zarie naseehat karo , Allah ne us kay zarie unhen jis cheez ka hukum dia hai, woh unko yad dilao
((واهجروهن في المضاجع))
Ibne Abbas رضي الله عنهما ne farmaya: isse murad yeh hai keh woh bistar par uski taraf peeth kar de aur usse kalam na kare
Shau’bi aur Mujahid رحمهما الله ne farmaya: isse murad yeh hai keh woh us ko bistare khuwab par tanha chor de aur us kay na soe
((واضربوهن))
Unhen maaro lekin woh aziyat naak na ho
Ibne Abbas رضي الله عنهما ne farmaya: adab sikhane kay lie maarna jese ghoonsa waghera, aur khawand kay lie hai Keh woh apni aurat ki nafarmani ki, is ayat mein mazkoorah tarteebo hukum kay mutabiq talafi kare
((فإن أطعنكم))
Agar woh tumhari ita’at karen us baare mein jo un se matloob hai
(( فلا تبغوا عليهن))
Is baare mein Ibne Abbas رضي الله عنهما ne farmaya: un par nakardah gunahon ka ilzam na lagao
RasullAllah ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Jab aadmi apni aurat ko apne bistar par bulae aur woh na ae tou subah hone tak farishte us par la’anat karte rehte hain” [Bukhari: 3237]
Aur yeh alfaz bhi hain:
“Aur woh (aadmi) us par narazi kay aalam mein rat basar kare tou subha hone tak farishte us par la’anat karte hain “
Aur sahihain kay yeh alfaz bhi hain:
“Jab aurat apne khawand ki nafarmani karte hue us kay bistar se alag rat basar kare tou woh zaat jo aasman mein hai woh us par naraz hojati hai hatta keh uska khawand usse razi hojae” [Muslim: 1436]
Jabir رضي الله عنه Nabi ﷺ se riwayat karte hain aap ne farmaya:
“3 qisam kay log hain Allah unki namaz qubool nahin karta hai na unki koi naiki aasman ki taraf buland hoti hai, mafroor ghulam, hatta keh woh apne malikon kay pas wapas ajae aur apna daste ita’at un kay hathon mein de de aur woh aurat jis par uska khawand naraz ho hatta keh woh usse raazi hojae aur nashe mein madhosh hatta keh woh hosh mein ajae” [1]
Hasan bayan karte hain mujhe us shakhs ne bayan kia jis ne Nabi ﷺ se suna, farmate hain:
Ibne aqeel apne sooe hifz ki wajah se mukhtalif feeh hai , isi tarah Zaheer bin Muhammad tameemi hai
“Roz-e-Qayamat aurat se sab se pehle uski namaz aur us kay khawand kay muta’alliq pucha jaega”
Hadithe Nabwi mein hai keh RasullAllah ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Jo aurat Allah aur yaume akhirat par iman rakhti hai us kay lie halal nahin keh woh apne khawand kay hote hue uski ijazat kay bagher (nafli) roza rakhe aur woh us kay Ghar mein uski ijazat kay bagher kisi ko dakhil hone ki ijazat na de” [Bukhari]
Aur Aap ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Agar main kisi ko hukum dena keh woh Allah kay siwa kisi ko sajdah kare tou main aurat ko hukum deta keh woh apne khawand ko sajdah kare” [Tirmidhi: 859]
Hussain bin Muhsin رضي الله عنه ki phuppi bayan karti hain, unhon ne Nabi ﷺ se apne khawand ka tazkirah kia tou Aap ne farmaya:
“Dekho tum usse kis maqam par hi kyun keh wohi tumhari jannat aur wohi tumhari Jahannum hai “
Abdullah bin Amr رضي الله عنه bayan karte hain RasullAllah ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Allah us aurat ki taraf (nazre rehmat se) nahin dekhta jo apne khawand ka shukar adaa nahin karti, halan keh woh usse be-niaz nahin ho sakti” [Nisai fi ushratun nisaa: 249]
Abdullah bin Amr رضي الله عنه se marwi hai keh aap ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Jab aurat apne khawand kay Ghar se nikalti hai tou farishte us par la’anat bhejte hain hatta keh woh wapas ajae ya taubah karle” [2]
Aur RasullAllah ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Jo aurat is haal mein wafat paae keh uska khawand usse raazi ho tou woh jannat mein dakhil hogi” [Ibne Majah]
[1] Tabrani ne Abdullah bin Muhammad bin aqeel ki riwayat se Al ausat mein riwayat kia hai , Ibne khuzaima aur Ibne Hibban ne ise apni apni sahih mein riwayat kia hai aur yeh Zaheer bin Muhammad ki riwayat se hai (at targheeb)
[2] Tabrani ne Hadith Ibne Abbas رضي الله عنهما se ise riwayat kia hai, munzari ne is kay zo’af ki taraf ishara kia hai
Pas aurat par wajib hai keh wo apne khawand ki razamandi talab kare aur us ki narazi se bache aur jab wo us kay pas aana chahe tou wo us se duur na ho kyun keh Nabi ﷺ ka farman hai:
“Jab admi apni biwi ko apne bistar par bulae tou wo us kay pas ajae khuwah wo tandoor par do.”
Ulma ne bayan kiya hai keh illa ye keh us kay pas haiz ya nifaas ka uzur ho.
Wo is haal mein us se jam’a na kare hatta keh wo ghusal kar le. Allah T’ala ka farman hai:
وَيَسْـَٔلُونَكَ عَنِ ٱلْمَحِيضِ ۖ قُلْ هُوَ أَذًى فَٱعْتَزِلُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فِى ٱلْمَحِيضِ ۖ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّىٰ يَطْهُرْنَ ۖ فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ ٱللَّهُ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلتَّوَّٰبِينَ وَيُحِبُّ ٱلْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ۞
“Pas haiz kay dinon mein auraton se duur ho’ aur un kay pas na jao yahan tak keh wo paak hojaen.”
Ya’ani jab tak wo paak na hojaen’ un se jam’a na karo.
Al-Baqarah : 222
Ibne Qitbiya ne farmaya: jab un ko khoon ana band hojae tou wo paak hojaen ya’ani jab wo pani se ghusal kar len. Wallahu A’lam
Aur jaisa keh Nabi ﷺ ka farman guzra hai:
“Jo shakhs haiza kay pas aae ya aurat se us ki peeth mein jam’a kare tou us ne Muhammad ﷺ ki shari’at ka inkaar kar diya.”
Aur aik dosri Hadith mein hai:
“Wo shakhs mal’oon hai jo haiza se ya aurat ki peeth mein jam’a kare’
Nifaas’ haiz ki misil hai aur us ki muddat chhalis roz tak hai. Pas aurat kay liye halal nahin keh wo apne khawand ki ita’at kare wo haiz o nifaas ki halat mein us se jim’a karne ka irada kare us kay ilawa jo umoor hain’ un mein us ki ita’at kare aur aurat ko chahiye keh wo jaan le keh wo khawand kay liye mamlook ki tarah hai’ wo apne bare mein apne khawand kay Maal mein us ki ijazat kay bagher tasarruf na kare aur wo us (khawand) kay haq ko apne haq par muqadam jane’ us kay rishte daron kay huqooq par muqadam rakhe’ wo nizafat kay tamam asbaab kay sath’ khawand ki khidmat o munf’at kay liye taiyar rahe’ wo apne husn o jamal ki waja se us par fakhar na kare aur wo us ko badsorti ka aib na lagae agar wo us mein ho.
Al Asma’i bayan karte hain: main aik jungle mein gaya tou aik khubsurat aurat thi lekin us ka khawand badsurat tha. Main ne usse kaha: to ne isse apne liye kaise passand kar liya to us jaise shakhs ki biwi ho? Us ne kaha: ae shakhs sun! Shayad keh is ne koi naiki ki ho jo is kay aur is kay khaliq Allah kay darmiyan ho tou us ne mujhe us ka sawab bana diya ho’ aur shayad kay main ne koi ghalati ki ho tou us ne is ko mere liye saza bana diya ho.
Ayesha رضي الله عنه bayan karti hain auraton ki jamat ! Agar tum jaan lo keh tumhare khawand kay tum par jo huqooq hain tou tum mein se aurat apne chahre kay rukhsar se apne khawand kay paon ki ghubar saaf karti. Aur Aap ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Tumhari auraton mein se Ahl-e-jannat mein se aur muhhabat karne wali wo hai jo koi takleef puhnchati hai ya usse koi takleef di jati jati hai tou wo apne khawand kay pas aati hai hatta keh wo apna hath us kay sath mein rakh kar kehti hai: main soo nahi sakongi hatta keh ap raazi hojaen.”
Aurat par ye bhi wajib hai keh wo apne khawand se hamesha haya kare us kay samne apni nazar neeche rakhe. Us kay hukum ki ita’at kare us kay baat karte waqt khamosh rahe’ us kay aane par khari hojae. [3]
Un tamam cheezon se duur rahe jo us ki narazi ka baais banen’ us kay bahir nikalte waqt (alvida karne kay liye) us kay sath khari ho’ us ki neend kay waqt apne ap ko us par pesh kare us ki ghair moujoodgi mein us kay bistar’ us kay maal aur us kay ghar mein khayanat na kare’ fizza ko Khush gawar banae’ mooh ko miswaak kay zare’a saaf karti rahe aur kastoori
[3] Istaqbaal karne kay liye khari hojae’ waise tazeeman khare hona mana hai. (Mutarjim)
Wa khushbu ka ehtemam kare, uski mojoodgi mein hamesha zaibo zeenat ka khayal rakhe aur uski ghair mojudgi mein ise tark karde , us kay ehlo aqarib ki takreemo izzat kare aur uski taraf se milne wali qaleel cheez ko bhi kaseer tasawwur kare
*FASAL*
Yeh apne khawand ki ita’at guzar biwi ki fazeelat aur nafarman aurat kay azab ki shiddat kay baare mein fasal hai, Allah ta’ala se darne wali aurat ko chahie keh woh Allah ki aur apne khawand ki ita’at kay lie koshish kare aur uski razamandi kay husool kay lie apni Puri koshish kare, wohi uski jannat aur wohi uski jahannum hai, Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Jo aurat is haal mein wafat paae keh uska khawand usse razi ho tou woh jannat mein jaegi”
Aur hadith mein yeh bhi hai:
“Jab aurat apni paanchon namazen parhe, apne maah (Ramzan) kay roze rakhe aur apne khawand ki ita’at kare tou woh jannat kay darwazon mein se jisse chahe dakhil hojae”
Aur aap ﷺ se marwi hai keh aap ne farmaya:
“Apne khawand ki ita’at karne wali aurat kay lie, parinde hawaon mein, machlian Pani mein , farishte aasman mein aur soorajo Chand maghfirat talab karte rehte hain jab tak woh apne khawand ki raza talash karti rehti hai aur jo aurat apne khawand ki nafarmani karti hai tou us par Allah , farishton aur tamam logon ki la’anat barasti hai , aur jo aurat apne khawand ko tursh rooi se dekhti hai tou woh Allah ki narazi mein rehti hai hatta keh woh us (khawand) ko hansae aur usko raazi kare , aur jo aurat apne khawand ki ijazat kay Bagher apne ghar se nikalti hai tou farishte us par la’anat bhejte rehte hain hatta keh woh wapas ajae “
Aur RasullAllah ﷺ hi se marwi hai keh aap ne farmaya:
“4 qisam ki aurten jannati hain aur 4 qisam ki Jahannumi hain, Jahan tak 4 jannati aurton ka ta’alluq hai tou un mein se aik woh Paak Daman aurat hai jo Allah aur apne khawand ki ita’at guzar hai , bache Janne wali, sabar karne wali aur apne khawand kay sath ma’muli cheez par qana’at karne wali, haya wali agar uska khawand ghaib ho tou woh apni jaan aur us kay maal ki hifazat karti hai aur jab woh mojood ho tou phir apni zaban ko usse rokti hai, aur chothi woh aurat hai uska khawand faut hojae us kay chote chote bache hon woh apne aap ko apni aulad ki khatir roke rakhe , unki achi parwarish aur tarbiyat kare aur woh is andeshe se shadi na kare keh woh zaya hojaenge”
Aur 4 qisam ki aurten jo jahannum mein jaengi , aik woh aurat jo apne khawand par bad zabani karti hai, ya’ani apne khawand par zaban darazi karti hai, zaban darazi se murad hai fohosh goi, agar uska khawand usse ghaib ho tou woh apne nafs ko na bachae aur agar woh mojood ho tou phir apni zaban se use takleef pohonchae, dusri woh aurat hai jo apne khawand ko aisi takleef se do chaar kar de jiski woh taqat nahin rakhta, teesri aurat woh hai jo apne aap ko mardon se nahin chupati aur woh banao singhar kar kay apne ghar se nikalti hai aur chothi aurat woh hai jiska maqsad sirf khana Pina aur Sona ho, woh namaz ka shoq rakhti hai na Allah aur us kay Rasul aur apne khawand ki ita’at ka pas jab aurat is sifat se muttasif ho kar apne khawand ki ita’at kay bagher apne ghar se nikalti hai tou woh mal’oonah Jahannumi hai illa yeh keh woh Allah kay huzoor taubah karle
Aur Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Main ne jahannum mein jhank kar dekha tou wahan aksariat aurton ki thi”
Aur yeh unki Allah, us kay Rasul aur un kay khawandon ki qillate ita’at aur un kay kasrat Tabarruj ki wajah se hai aur “at tabarruj” se murad hai keh jab aurat (Ghar se) bahar Jane ka iradah kare tou woh apna behtreen libas zaib tan kare, banao singhar aur husne Jamal ka ehtemam kare aur phir apne zarie logon ko fitne ka shikar karne kay lie bahar nikle , agar woh khud ko bacha bhi le tou log usse nahin bach sakte, isi lie Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Aurat parde ki cheez hai, pas jab woh apne ghar se nikalti hai tou shaitan usko logon ki nigah mein muzayyan kar kay dikhata hai”
Allah ki taraf se aurat kay lie sab s bari azmat yahi hai keh woh apne ghar mein rahe , aur Hadith mein bhi hai: “aurat parde ki cheez hai usko Ghar mein rakho”
Kyun keh jab aurat raste ki taraf rawana hoti hai tou us kay Ghar wale use kehte hain kahan ka iradah hai? Woh kehti hai: main kisi mareez ki ayadat karne, janaze mein shirkat karne jarahi hun, shaitan us kay sath hi rehta hai hatta keh woh apne ghar se nikalti hai, aurat apne ghar mein beth kar, apne Rabb ki ibadat kar kay aur apne khawand ki ita’at kar kay jis qadar Allah ki raza hasil karti hai us qadar kisi aur zarie se hasil nahin hoti
Ali رضي الله عنه ne apni ehlia Fatima رضي الله عنها se farmaya: Fatima! Aurat kay lie kia behtar hai? Unhon ne farmaya keh woh mardon ko na dekhe aur woh use na dekhen, Ali رضي الله عنه farmaya karte the: kia tumhen haya nahin aati kia tumko ghairat nahin aati? Tum mein se koi apni biwi ko chorta hai woh mardon kay darmian nikalti hai, woh unhen dekhti hai aur woh use dekhte hain!
Ayesha aur Hafsa رضي الله عنهما aik roz Nabi ﷺ kay pas bethi hui thi keh Ibne umme maktoom رضي الله عنه tashreef lae, woh nabeena the. Nabi ﷺ ne farmaya: “tum isse pardah karo” unhon ne arz kia: Allah kay Rasul! Kia woh nabeena nahin? Woh hamen dekhta hai na hamen pehchanta hai tou aap ne farmaya : “kia tum bhi nabeena ho? Kia tum ise dekhti nahin ho?”
Jis tarah mard ko chahye keh woh aurton se apni nigahen past rakhe , isi tarah aurat ko chahye keh woh mardon se apni nigahen neechi rakhen , jesa keh Fatima رضي الله عنها kay bayan se pata chala jo keh pehle bayan ho Chuka hai keh aurat kay liye jo behtar hai wo ye hai keh wo mardon ko na dekhe aur wo usse na dekhen.
Agar wo majboori kay a’lam mein apne Walden aur apne rishtedaro se milne kay liye jana zaroori samjhe tou phir wo banao singhar kiye bagher’ apne ghar kay aam purane libaas mein’ apne khawand ki ijazat se jae’ chalte waqt apni nazren jhuka kar rakhe’ zameen par nazar rakhe’ daaen baaen na dekhe’ agar us ne ye tarz e amal na apnaya tou wo gunah gaar hogi.
Hikayat bayan ki jati hai keh duniya mein aik aurat zaib o zebahish kiya karti thi aur wo banao singhar kar kay apne ghar se nikla karti rahe wo faut hogai tou us kay ahl-khana kay kisi fard ne usse khuwab mein dekha keh wo bareek libaas mein Allah عز وجل kay huzoor pesh ki gai phir hawa chali tou us ne usse zahir kar diya. Allah T’ala ne us se rukh mour liya aur farmaya: usse baaen taraf walon ki si pakar se jahhanum ki taraf le chalo’ kyun keh wo duniya mein banao singhar karne walion mein se thi.
Ali bin Abbi Talib رضي الله عنه bayan karte hain: main aur Fatima رضي الله عنها Nabi ﷺ kay pas gae tou ham ne Ap ko bohat ziyada rote hue dekha’ tou main ne Ap se arz kiya Allah kay Rasool ! Mere Walden Ap par Qurban hun’ kon si cheez Ap ko rula rahi hai? Ap ne farmaya:
“Ali ! Jis raat mujhe asmanon ki sair karai gai tou main ne apni ummat ki aurat ko mukhtalif qisam kay azab hote hue dekha’ pas main ne jawan kay azab ki shid’dat ko dekha hai tou main is wajah se roo raha hon’ main ne aik aurat ko us ki zaban se muta’liq dekha aur garma kholta hua pani us kay halaq mein dala jaraha tha’ main ne aik aurat ko dekha keh us kay pas us ki pastano kay sath aur us kay hath us ki peshani kay sath bandhe hue hain’ main ne aik aurat ko dekha keh us ka sar khinzeer ka sar hai aur us ka badan gadhe kay badan jaisa hai’ us par laakhon qisam ka azab hai. Main ne aik aurat ko kutte ki surat mein dekha’ aag us kay mooh se dakhil hokar us ki pusht se nikal rahi thi aur farishte lohe ki gurzon se us kay sar par maar rahe the.”
Fatima رضي الله عنها khari hoen aur kaha mere Habib aur meri ankhon ki thandak un logon kay Kia Aa’mal the hatta keh un par azab musallat kar diya gaya?
Aap ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Meri piyari beti ! Rahi wo aurat jo apne baalon kay sath mu’allaq thi , woh mardon se apne baal nahin dhanpa karti thi, jo apni zaban kay sath mu’allaq thi woh apne khawand ko aziyat pohonchaya karti thi , jo apne pastanon kay sath mu’allaq thi woh apne khawand kay bistar ko kharab Kai karti thi, jis kay paun us kay pastanon kay sath aur us kay hath uski paishani kay sath bandhe hue the aur us par sanp aur bichu musallat the woh jinnat aur haiz se apne badan ko Saaf nahin kia karti thi aur namaz ka mazaq uraya karti thi, rahi woh aurat jis ka sar, khinzeer ka sar, uska badan gadhe ka sa badan tha, woh chughal khaur aur jhuti thi, rahi woh aurat jo kutte ki Surat par thi aur aag us kay munh mein dakhil ho kar us Ki peeth se nikal rahi thi woh ehsan jaltlane wali, hasad karne wali thi”
Maaz bin Jabal bayan karte hain RasullAllah ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Aurat apne khawand ko dunia mein takleef pohonchati hai tou uski moti moti ankhon wali (hoor) kehti hai Allah tujhe tabah kare, ise takleef na pohoncha, ae beti! Us aurat kay lie halakat hai jo apne khawand ki nafarmani karti hai “
*FASAL*
Jab aurat apne khawand ki ita’at karne aur uski razamandi talab karne par mamoor hai tou khawand bhi us kay sath ehsan karne us par lutfo meherbani se paish aane, us kay sooe khalq se kisi pehlu kay zahir hone par sabar karne aur us kay naano nafqa, poshako libas, aur husne ma’ashrat ka haq adaa karne par mamoor hai , Allah ta’ala ka farman hai:
ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ
“Aur un kay sath husne sulook se raho”
An-Nisa : 19
Aur Nabi ﷺ ka farman bhi hai: auraton kay sath acha sulook karo’ agah raho ! Tumhare liye tumhari auraton par huqooq hain aur tumhari auraton kay liye tum par huqooq hain. Un ka tum par haq hai keh tum un ka libaas o ta’am mein un se husn e sulook karo’ aur tumhara un par ye haq hai keh tumhare bistron ko’ aise logon se pamaal na karen’ jin ko tum na passand karte ho aur aise logon ko’ tumhare gharon mein aane ki ijazat na den’ jin ko tum na passand karte ho.”
Aur Aap ﷺ ka farman hai: ” *((عنوان))* ya’ani isirat ” *عنوان ‘عانية* ” ki jam’a hai aur us ka ma’ani hai “اسيرة” qaidi RasullAllah ﷺ ne aurat ko’ mard kay hukum kay matihat rehne mein qaidi se tashbeeh di hai.
Aur Aap ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Tum mein se behtar wo hai jo tum mein se apni ahliya kay sath behtar hai.” [Ibne Haibban]
Aur aik riwayat mein hai:
“Tum mein se behtar wo hai jo tum mein se apni ahliya kay sath ziyada mehrban hai.”
Aur RasullAllah ﷺ auraton kay mamile mein intihai mehrban the. Aur Aap ﷺ ne farmaya:
“Jo shakhs apni biwi kay bure akhlaq par sabar kare tou Allah us ko us ajar ki misil ajat atta farmata hai jo us ne Ayoob عليه السلام ki biwi Asiya binte Muzaham ko atta kiya tha.”
Riwayat ki jati hai keh aik admi apni biwi kay khalq ki shikayat karne Umar رضي الله kay pas aya wo Umar رضي الله kay bahir tashreef lane kay intzar mein un kay darwaze par khara hogaya’ us ne Umar رضي الله عنه aurat ko ap par zaban darazi karte aur ap se jhagra karte hue suna’ jabkeh Umar رضي الله khamosh hain aur usse koi jawab nahi de rahe pas wo admi wapis jane kay liye mura aur kehne laga: agar Umar رضي الله عنه ka apni sakhti aur pukhtgi kay bawajood’ jabkeh wo Ameer-ul-Momineen bhi hain’ ye haal hai tou phir mera kia haal hai?
Pas Umar رضي الله bahir tashreef lae tou unho ne usse apne darwaze se wapis jate hue dekha tou usse awaz di aur farmaya: ae admi ! Tumharj kia haj’jat hai? Us ne arz kiya Ameer-ul-Momineen ! Main apni biwi kay bure akhlaq aur us ki mujh se zaban darazi ki’ ap se shikayat karne ata tha’ lekin main ne Ap ki ahliya ko bhi issi tarah suna tou main wapis hogaya air main ne kaha agar Ameer-ul-Momineen ka apni ahliya kay sath ye haal hai tou phir mera kia haal hai? Umar رضي الله عنه ne farmaya: mere bhai ! Main ne us kay un huqooq ki bina’ par jo mujh par hain’ us ko bardasht kiya hua hai? Wo mera khana pakati hai’ meri roti pakati hai’ mera dil us ki waja se haram se bachta hai’ pas main is liye us ko bardasht karta hon. Us admi ne kaha: Ameer-ul-Momineen! Meri biwi bhi issi tarah hai. Umar رضي الله عنه ne farmaya: mere bhai ! Tum bhi usse bardasht karo’ ye tou thori si muddat hai.
Hikayat bayan ki jati hai keh kisi naik saleh admi ka aik naik admi Allah ki khatir bhai tha.
Wo har saal us ki mulaqat kiya karta tha pas wo us ki ziyarat wa mulaqat kay liye aya tou us ne darwaze par dastak di’ us ki biwi ne pocha kon? Us ne jawab diya: tere khawand ka Allah ki khatir bhai’ main us ki ziyarat kay liye aya hon. Us ne kaha: wo lakriyan lene gaya hua hai’ Allah usse wapis na lae usse mehfooz na rakhe’ us kay sath aise aise ho’ wo us ki muzamat karne lagi aur wo us kay darwaze par khara tha keh itne mein ys ka bhai pahhar ki janib se aya’ us ne lakriyon ka gatha sher ki peeth par rakha hua hai aur wo usse apne aage aage haank raha hai. Pas wo aya apne bhai ko Salam kiya aur usse khush-Amdeed kaha’ wo ghar mein dakhil hua lakriyon ko dakhil kiya aur sher se kaha’ Allah tujhe barkar atta farmae’ chale jao’ phir us ne apne bhai ko ghar mein dakhil kiya’ jabkeh aurat apne haal par muzamat kiye jarahi thi’ wo apni zaban chala rahi thi aur us ka khawand usse koi jawab nahi de raha tha. Us ne apne bhai kay sath kuch khaya phir usse Alvida kiya aur wapis agaya’ wo us aurat par apne bhai kay sabar kay bare mein muta’ajib tha’ bayan karte hain jab dosra saal hua tou wo apne mamool kay mutabiq apne bhai ki ziyarat kay liye aya’ darwaze par dastak di tou us ki biwi ne pocha
Darwaze par kon hai? Us ne jawab diya tumhare khawand ka Allah kay liye falan bhai. Us ne kaha khush-Amdeed’ أهلا و سهلا tashreef rakhen’ wo abhi Inshallah khair o afiyat se ajaenge. Bayan karte hain us ne us kay lutf kalam aur us kay adab par ta’ajub kiya jab us ka bhai aya tou us ne apni pusht par lakriyan uthai hoi thi’ us ko us par bhi ta’ajub hua. Pas wo aya’ us ne usse salam kiya’ ghar mein dakhil hua usse bhi dakhil kiya. Aurat un donon kay liye khana lai aur kalam e lutf se un kay liye duaen karne lagi’ pas jab us ne us se juda hone ka irada kiya tou us ne kaha: mere bhai main jis cheez kay bare mein pochna chahta hon’ mujhe us bare mein bataen us ne kaha: mere bhai ! Kia pochna chahte ho? Us ne kaha: main pehle saal aya tha tou main ne bad zaban aur qillat e adab wali aurat ko suna wo bohat muzamat karti thi aur main ne ap ko dekha keh ap pahhar ki janib se arahe hain jabkeh lakriyan sher ki pusht par hain aur wo ap kay aage musakhar wa tabe hai jabkeh is saal main ne aurat ka kalam bohat latif dekha’ us ne muzamat nahi ki aur main ne ap ko dekha keh ap apni qamar par lakriyan laad kar larahe hain’ tou sabab kia hai? Us ne jawab diya mere bhai ! Wo bad mizaaj aurat faut hogai hai’ main us kay khalq aur jo kuch us se zahir hota’ us par sabar karta tha. Main us kay sath takleef mein tha aur main ne us ko bardasht karne ki waja se’ sher ko mere taabe kar diya tha’ jis ko ap ne meri lakriyan uthae hue dekha. Pas jab wo faut hogai tou main ne is saleh khatoon se shadi kar li’ main is kay sath rahat o sukoon se hon’ pas wo sher chala gaya’ pas main is ita’at guzar Mubarak aurat kay sath meri rahat ki waja se’ lakriyan apni pusht par uthaya karta hon.
Pas ham Allah se darkhuwast karte hain keh wo apne pasandida umoor par sabar atta farmae kyun keh wo Sakhi Data Fayyaz hai.
REFERENCE:
Book: “Kabeerah Gunah”
Taleef: Shaikh Ul Islam Shams ad-Dīn adh-Dhahabī Rahimahullah.
Urdu Tarjumah: Abu Anas Muhammad Sarwar Gohar.
A Wife’s Rebellion Against Her Husband
Allah, Most High says,{As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them first. Next refuse to share their beds and lastly beat them (lightly). If they return to obedience, seek not means against them (of annoyance); for Allah is Most High, great (above you all).}
(An-Nisa’: 34)
The Prophet (pbuh) said, “When a man calls his wife to his bed and she does not come, if he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.”¹
Another version from Al-Bukhari and Muslim is, “When a woman does not spend the night in her husband’s bed, and refuses him then He who is in heaven (i.e. Allah) remains displeased with her, till her husband has reconciled with her.”²
Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) related,
“There are three people whose prayers will not be accepted by Allah, nor do any good deed of theirs risen up to heaven: a fleeing slave until he returns to his master and helps him, a woman whose husband is angry with her until he is pleased with her, and a drunkard until he becomes conscious.”³
The Prophet (pbuh) said,
“The first things a woman is called to account for on the Day of Judgment are her prayers and her (relations with her) husband.”⁴
The Prophet (pbuh) said,”It is not lawful for a woman to fast (voluntarily) when her husband is present, except by his permission nor permit anyone into his house except with his permission.”⁵
The Prophet (pbuh) said,”Had it been permissible that a person prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife prostrate herself before her husband.”⁶
Hussain Ibn Muhsan’s aunt mentioned her husband to the Prophet (pbuh) who said, “Evaluate yourself concerning your husband for he is you Paradise or Hell-Fire.”⁷
| ¹Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim. ²Reported by Muslim. ³Reported by Ibn Hibban. ⁴Reported by As-Suyuti in AI-Jam! AI-Kabir. ⁵Reported by AI-Bukhari and Muslim. ⁶Reported by At- Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah and Ahmad. ⁷Reported by Ahmad and AI-Hakim. |
The Prophet (pbuh) said,”Allah will not look at a woman who is ungrateful to her husband, while she is unable to do without him.”¹
The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever leaves her husband’s house (without his permission), the angels curse her until she returns or repents.”²
The Prophet (pbuh) said, “If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter paradise.”³
Thus, it is obligatory for a woman to respond to her husband anytime and anywhere unless she has a legal excuse, menstruation or the like.
The Prophet (pbuh) said, “When a man sends for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she may be occupied in baking bread (cooking food).”⁴
It is unlawful to approach a woman during the time of her menstruation as stated by Allah:
{Keep away from women in their curses, and do not approach them until they are clean}
(Al-Baqarah: 222)
The Prophet said,”Whoever has intercourse with a woman during her period has disbelieved in what has been revealed upon Muhammad.”⁵
“He who has intercourse with a woman during her period or sodomizes her is accursed.”⁶
This also applies to post natal bleeding.
A woman should keep in mind that there are some rights towards her husband she should observe. She should not spend of his money, or do anything without permission. She also should not revile or disgust him.
Al-Asma’i recounted, once I was passing by a desert and as met a very beautiful woman who had an ugly husband. I asked her, how did you accept him a husband? She said, give me your ear! He might have kept a good relation with Allah and thus He made me a reward to him.On the other hand, I might have disobeyed Allah and thus he made him my punishment.
‘Aishah said, “O women, had you known your husbands’ rights, any woman among you would have wiped dust from her husband’s shoes on her face”
The Prophet (pbuh) said,”Your heavenly wife is the kind who, when her husband hurts comes close to her husband, puts her hand in his and says, I’ll never sleep until you are pleased.”⁷
| ¹Reported by AI-Hakim who said that it is an authentic hadith. ²Reported by AI-Mundhiri in At-Targhib wa At-Tarhib and it has numerous references. ³Reported by At- Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and AI-Hakim. ⁴Reported by At- Tirmidhi ⁵Reported before. ⁶Reported before. ⁷Reported by AI-Haithami in numerous ways all of which are weak. |
A woman should also be: loyal before her husband, lower her gaze before him, keep silent when he speaks, stand when he comes, or leaves, offer herself when he sleeps, perfume herself, brush her teeth (with Siwak), be adorned in his accompany, leave aside what annoys him in his presence like slandering or in absence like treachery in bed, property or home, honor his family and kinsmen, and be content of what he brings however little.
A woman who fears Allah should do her best to obey Allah and her husband and seek his pleasures because he himself is her paradise or hell fire. The Prophet said,
“If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter paradise.”
“If a woman performs the five (prayers), fasts the month (of Ramadan) and obeys her husband, she will enter paradise from any gate she wants.”¹
The Prophet (pbuh) said,”Birds in the sky, whales in the water, angels in the heaven, the sun and the moon will all ask Allah to forgive women who obey their husbands so long as they are pleased with them. If a woman disobeys her husband she entails the curse of Allah, the angels and all people. If a woman makes her husband frown,
Allah’s wrath is upon her until she makes him laugh and pleased. If a woman leaves her husband’s house without his permission, the angels curse her until she returns or repents.”²
The Prophet (pbuh) said,”There are four women in Paradise and they are: a chaste and an obedient one to Allah and her husband,patient, content, coy, and reproductive who guards her husband’s property and herself in his absence and holds her tongue in his presence. A widow who devotes her life for her children and does not marry lest they fail. As for the four women of Hell –fire.” “The woman who has a shrew tongue and is vulgar towards her husband, who does not guard herself in his absence and injures him with her tongue in his presences.
The one who charges her husband burdens greater than he can bear. The one who shows herself to men and goes out doors displaying her beauty. The one who does not concern herself except with food, drink and sleep. Further she is not eager to pray or to obey Allah and her husband, such a woman who in addition to that, leaves her husband’s home without his permission is accursed by the people of fire until she repents to Allah.”³
He also said,”Having had a look at the fire, I found that most of its people are women. This is because, they do not always obey Allah, his Messenger and their husband’s and display their beauty to other than their husbands.”⁴
“A woman is Awrah. Whenever she goes outdoors, Satan receives her.”⁵
The closer a woman is to Allah, the longer she stays in her home.
| ¹Reported by Ahmad. ²Not found. ³Reported by A1-Bukhari. ⁴Reported before ⁵Reported by At- Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban and Abu Dawud. |
The Prophet said,
“A woman is privacy. Thus, hold her at home. Because, if she is about to go out door, and her kinsmen ask where are you going? She says, ‘I’ll visit a patient, or I’ll attend a funeral. Satan keeps on tempting her until she leaves the house. Thus, if a woman seeks Allah’s pleasure, it is better to her to stay home, worship Allah and obey her husband.”¹
Ali said to his wife, fatimah (may Allah be pleased with them both), “O fatimah, what is the best thing for a woman? She answered, “not to see men or be seem by them”. Ali also said, “Do you not grow jealous! When you let your wives walk among men and see each other!”
Once’ Aishah and Hafsa were sitting with the Prophet (pbuh) when fun Umm Maktum who was blind came there.
“The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Cover yourselves from him.” They replied, “We submit, O Messenger of Allah! Is he not blind and cannot see to recognize us. On this the Prophet (pbuh) said, But you are not blind and can see him.”²
Thus, both men and women should not look at each other except because of necessity. Once there was a woman who used to display her beauty when she went outdoors. After her death, her kinsmen saw her in a dream standing before Allah dressed in transparent clothes. Then the wind blew and exposed her.
Accordingly, Allah rejected her and said take her leftward to the Hell-Fire since she was displaying her beauty to the world.
Ali Ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “I came to the Prophet accompanied with Fatimah but We noticed him weeping vehemently. I said,
“I sacrifice you with my father and mother, Messenger of Allah. Why do you weep?” He said, “0 Ali, in the night Journey (Isra) when I was taken up to the sky, I saw some women of my nation suffering some types of torture. Therefore, I wept because of their sever tortures. I saw a woman who was hanging from her hair and her brain was boiling. Another Woman was hanging from her tongue and a boiling fluid was being poured into her mouth. Another woman whose legs were tied to her breasts and her hands to her forehead and another who was hanging from her breasts. Another whose head was like a pig’s and body like a donkey and suffered million types of torture, and another woman who had the shape of a dog while the fire pierced her month until it left her body from the anus and the angels were also Scourging her with lashes of fire. Upon hearing that, Fatimah asked. O darling and the pleasure of my eyes, what were they doing to Suffer such torture? Then the Prophet said; O daughter, as for the woman who was hanged from hair, she
¹Reported by Ibn Hajar AI-Haith ami in Majma’ Al-Zawa’id and he said that it is narrated by At- Tabarani and the transmitters of this hadith are trustworty.
²Reported by Abu Dawud, At- Tirmidhi and Ahmad.
would not cover her hair from men. The woman who was hanged from her tongue used to bring harm to her husband; the one who was hanged from her breasts cumulated her husband’s bed. The woman whose legs were tied to her breasts and hands to forehead and suffering from serpents and scorpions would not clean her body from major impurity or menstruation, and neglected prayer. The woman whose head was like a pig’s and had a donkey’s body was a talebearer and lair. As for the last one, she used to remind recipients of her charity to them and was envious. O daughter, woe to her who disobeys her husband.”¹
Muadh Ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) related that the Prophet (pbuh) said,
“Whenever a woman causes annoyance and torture to her husband in this world, his mate from among the hour is of Paradise says to her: may Allah ruin thee, do not cause your husband annoyance, for, he is only your guest, and will soon leave thee to join us in Paradise.”²
Similarly, a husband is commanded to treat his wife kindly and tenderly. He should also be patient if she mistreats him. Food, clothes and kind treatment are also binding for a man to give to his wife. Allah the Almighty says,
{But consort with them in kindness}
(An-Nisa’: 19)
The Prophet (pbuh) said,”Listen! Treat women kindly, they are like prisoners in you hands. Beyond this do not use anything from them. If they are guilty of flagrant misbehaviors, you can remove them from your beds and beat them but do not inflict upon them any severe punishment. Then, if they obey you, you do not have recourse to anything else against them. Listen! You have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike to trample your bed and do not permit them to enter your home.”³
The Prophet (pbuh) said,”The best of you is whoever treats his wife kindly.”⁴
The Prophet (pbuh) used to treat women very tenderly. He (pbuh) said, “Whoever remains patient with regards to the misbehavior of his wife, Allah will give him a reward as great as Ayub’s for his affliction. Likewise, if a woman keeps patient with regards to the misbehavior of her husband, Allah will give her a reward as great as ‘Aishah’s Bint Muzahim, (the Pharaoh’s wife).”⁵
| ¹Not found. ²Reported by At- Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban, Ahmad and Ad-Dai1ami. ³Reported by At- Tirmdhi and Ibn Hibban. ⁴Reported by At- Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban and Ibn Majah. ⁵Reported by AI-Hakim in AI-Mustadrak and he said that the Transmitters of this hadith are trustworthy. |
Once, there was a man who came to ‘Umar to complain about the misbehavior of his wife. While he was waiting for ‘Umar by the door, he heard ‘Umar’s wife speaking to him indecently but ‘Umar was keeping silent. Thereupon, the man went back and said, “If this is the case of ‘Umar who was decisive and he was also the Commander of the Believers what about me?” Then ‘Umar went out and noticed him leaving. He called him and said, “What do you want?” The man said, “O Commander of the Believers, I came to complain about my wife’s misconduct and her indecency towards me but when I heard your wife I went back and said what about me?” ‘Umar then said, “O brother, I endured her misbehavior for some rights upon me to her: she cooked my food, bakes my bread, washes my clothes and suckles my babies.
She is not required to do such work. Furthermore, my heart is repelled from the unlawful because of her.
Thereby, I endured her. “So is my wife, Commander of the Believers” the man said. Then, ‘Umar said,”Thus you should endure her. It is a short life we live in.”
REFERENCE:
BOOK: “MAJOR SINS” OF IMAM SHAMSU ED-DEEN DHAHABI.
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